Tuesday, May 20, 2008

newsflash: red sox fan a total asshole, baseball world stunned!

a few months ago the new york yankees organization used some jackhammers to excavate a david ortiz jersey from the cement foundation of the new yankees stadium placed there by red sox fan and construction worker turned prankster gino castignoli. after much ado, the jersey was auctioned off and all proceeds went to cancer research organization "the jimmy fund". a happy ending to a sordid tale of deceit, yes? no.

last night a new chapter was penned when gino (presumably drunk and belligerent) let it slip that he also buried a winning red sox scorecard from the 2004 alds somewhere in the stadium. gino worked at the stadium for only 1 day. was anyone keeping an eye on this shitdick with a backpack full of red sox memorabilia that kept disappearing for extended smoke breaks? gino has officially just graduated on the annoyance-alert-chart from "prankster" all the way to "cocksucker pest". no doubt alcohol and the quest for immortality have helped his climb towards the top.

with a name like "gino castignoli" in the business of cement-pouring, you'd think he'd know better than to 1) piss off yankees fans that are also in the cement-pouring business and 2) keep his fucking mouth shut if he wants to keep his balls from ending up in a jar on hank steinbrenner's mantle. this guy's officially up shit's creek bereft of oar. with any luck he's on his way to a secret cia prison right now for some certified usa-grade not-torture so he'll spill his info and we won't have to go through this bullshit a third time.

gino, you suck. i hope they strap electrodes to your balls and zap you til you piss blood.

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