the wonderful highline ballroom, a live music venue that opened last year in chelsea, organized a series of concerts this summer that all take place on the uninhabited governors island. most people confuse governors island with ellis island and staten island, but it's actually an even smaller fortified island that the rich-ass lois lane lived on in the most recent superman movie.
what better day to stage a show on an island off the southermost tip of manhattan and only accessible by ferry, than father's day sunday! aside from the horrible traffic, it was an awesome day for it! the sun was shining and the humidity of a 2-week august heat-wave had finally broken (it was june). on an aside, last week it also snowed in the cascades and there was a tornado in burlington, vt. i hope everybody is getting used to their new climates and seasons, it's gonna be a while. YAY.
while waiting for the 5:45pm ferry (i got there after 5pm ferry departed) we took a quick walk over to the beer gardens at battery park. i really needed to pee but aside from the park restroom being absolutely atrocious (wow, there's a bathroom worse than the ny public library?), a croatian janitor screamed at me for pushing the garbage can out of the doorway to peak inside. "YOU GO! YOU NO MOVE!! NO NO!" you don't have to tell me twice, zoltan. luckily i am quite skilled at holding my pee when absolutely necessary. this includes various situations including but not limited to: public bathrooms in new york city, long movies/music sets i don't want to miss, 4am on the nys thruway 1 hour from home. the boys downed some food/bevvies, lisa ate a piece of corn with dijon mustard on it (that's fucked up), and we jetted back over to the ferry (with police entourage) and stood in a sweatbox for a couple of minutes before being whisked away to the fabulous isle of governors, roughly 5 minutes from beautiful downtown battery park! it was a cool boat ride, nice weather, good scenery, and totally surreal.
we walked around a bit, but not beyond the paved path, since the paved path was lined with nypd every 50 feet or so, at attention, ready to bust some hippie heads at the first sign of dissent. you couldn't re-enter the concert area, which was pretty fucking lame considering we probably would have checked out the cool buildings and monuments if we could have wandered freely. somebody had constructed a chain of helium balloons stretching into the sky and over part of the concert field- that was cool, our guess was this would make it easier to find the tank. a couple of the guys went to find meat and beer, i got a new sticker for my new nalgene bottle (mine BROKE!!! wtf?) and walked up towards the stage to find some land. there was a ton of space and sitting front and center, matt campbell screamed incoherently and i was like, "hey, i know that guy!" so, we went and claimed some space right in back of him and his buddy and hung out listening to some digital underground, beasties, etc. good stuff.
gullo took a great pic as the show started up...
k, first set- 'tailspin', was nice but didn't really kick in as hard as something like '32 things' would have, i see it as more of a mid-set tune. still- great set- i LOVE hearing 'tambourine' in the middle of a set (usually it's a quick encore and it doesn't get it's deserved attention). it's a great song with a country/bluegrass vibe that fluently compliments the hard rock craziness of moe.'s jams that sandwich it. kenny brooks from ratdog came out to play sax on the classic rock, 'rise' which was a cool touch, everyone was digging it. there was a quick transition into 'happy hour hero' which was great to hear with a sax- apparently they didn't play it at the saranac brewery, which i think is pretty funny- matt was very psyched to hear it. 'happy hour hero' blew me away, of course rob fucked up the lyrics, but it wouldn't be a show without that happening a few times. it makes moe. endearing. it was a perfect end to the first set as it left many of us in the crowd saying 'WOW' (at least me) and full of anticipation for the 2nd set.
after braving the port-a-potty lines (actually, this rental company was called "the royal FLUSH") i went back up from whence i came and the 2nd set started with a vengeance. 'head'-> time ed! no shit, this was GREAT. 'time ed's such a fucking weird song but you gotta love it! no joke- 'four' was like a religious experience for me- one of those times you hear a song and that exact version at that exact moment in history- its like you're hearing the song for the first time all over again- but better. 'four' was an emotional outpouring of music. the placement was perfect, it didn't drag, it just slapped you across face and said "THIS IS WHY YOU LISTEN TO moe." everything just sounded perfect. i know i'll remember that 'four' forever. that happens every so often and it stays with you. that's when i think of mr. "best timmy tucker ever" guy and i want to shake him really hard and say "YOU WILL KNOW WHEN IT HAPPENS."
sorry, i got off on a tangent there- but 'four' was great is what i am getting at. spaz medicine, great. and those teases did it again--- 'brent black' busts loose and just as it's getting intense- BOOM! stop on a dime -> 'she'. YOU SICK BASTARDS!!! i swear rob had some sort of "ha ha we foooooled you" smile on his face the second it happened. 'she' has never been one of my favorites and it took real balls to go from the madness that is 'brent black' into it and they pulled off the slow jerky vibe of the song while maintaining it's sweetness. i really enjoyed it (as opposed to resenting it for stunting 'brent black'). then they went back into and finished off a slammin' version of 'brent black'. they were really successful maintaining the energy level of the show throughout the night. just great stuff.
before i go into the details of the encore, i'm taking an official stance: i'm sick of these dreadful announcements, it's like being back at summer camp. birfdays are totally fine, but i've had it with this "_# of shows" crap (and it takes up SO MUCH TIME). it's great you love moe., it's awesome that you are supporting independent music, congratufuckinglations- here's a pat on the back, douchebag. my friends and i have personally put like 7 of vinnie's kids through college already, so save it. such announcements are completely elitist and have to go. which is exactly why i was screaming "ENOUGH ALREADY" while al was trying to read them (and got them to laugh... but i was serious!).
now for the music. never quite sure what kind of encore will pop up. could be 3 minutes, could be 40. i was kinda hoping that since we were in freakin' new york harbor that they'd summon the beast that is 'GODZILLA', but, 'i wanna be sedated' was a nice, nostalgic choice and it's still a blast.
we headed back down the cop-lined path towards the ferry line and had to wait maybe 30 minutes or so before we could board the 2nd or 3rd ferry out. as luck would have it, we were the last few people allowed on our ferry--- that was scary! didn't want to wait any longer! at midnight they let the dragons loose, the screams as we pulled away from the dock will haunt me for the rest of my life. we thought they had mistakingly dropped us off at riker's but then we realized our police escorts were probably there to protect us from ourselves. they are very thoughtful like that.
so, yeah--- what an awesome fucking moe. show!!! the band was totally solid but there were definitely stand-out moments for each of the guys. vinnie is a goddamn machine, al had a couple of rippin' solos, jim did an extended vibraphone solo, chuck is satan- but i'm not sure if it's just cuz i was standing right in front of him and it seemed this way- but rob was on fire all night... just having fun playing the shit out of each piece, calling attention to himself, being rob, and loving every second of it. ROCKIN'. left us totally salivating for monday night at the highline ballroom. the field trip to governors island was a really cool touch- kudos to the highline promoters- stellar job! moe., 6/15/08, governors island, nyc: 9.3 HUZZAHS! TOTES AWESOME!
DEFINITELY check out gullo's gallery - his pics are really effin' nice- he's all photographer-like and stuff. there's a funny picture of al in there that i think would make a great wallpaper for you al fans.
Set I Tailspin -> Darkness -> Bring You Down Tambourine Rise* -> Happy Hour Hero*
Set II head. -> Time Ed -> head, Four -> Spaz Medicine, Brent Black -> She -> Brent Black
i leave you with a single question as old as the universe and time itself: how is it possible that one man can be oh so dreamy? i can barely stand to look at this picture. (pic by gullo)
a few months back (precisely 1/12/08) the seapods did a reunion show at revolution hall in troy, ny. all was fucking awesome. little did they know there was a show promoter in the audience they had completely blown away. so one day he calls up teep and says he HAS to have the ominous seapods headline the one and only lobsterpalooza (the way that paris hilton HAS to have her valtrex), a day long annual lobster festival that rocks the socks off of washington park in albany- and that he'd pay them actual money to do it!
seapods + lobster = ROCK LOBSTER
i listened to the yanks game vs. kc on the drive up and thanks to this handy dandy little link, i was able to switch local affiliates and get crystal clear reception the whole way up. so it was an emotional rollercoaster. it was also 95 fucking degrees out, so we were in for a scorcher or at least a "two shirter" if you will. i arrived and parked next to valentine's as pettitte assploded (for only the 3rd time that game) and the royals tied it up at 6 in the 7th inning. i was angry. i was very very angry. luckily the seapods were only a couple of blocks and a few hours away.
holy fuck it was hot out. oppressive even. gabe called while i was parallel parking to say that he had spotted a marty racine. i brought the pecan chocolate chunk cookies i promised teep (humus = cookies, but this time the humus was lobster, so the lobster was life, which we were eating = cookies), but i wasn't sure how they'd stand up in the heat (answer: very well).
the lee boys were onstage when i got there, and they were a cool bluesy soul jam rock. my buddy sean had told me about them when he saw the lineup, the conversation pretty much nails the description: S: they're kind of like robert randolph LG: i get tired of robert randolph after 5 minutes, it's like musical wanking S: exactly, but the lee boys are what robert randolph should be*
i met up with the fancy rockstar lads who were feasting on lobster and/or surf 'n turf. the VIP tent was a weird scene. dumbledore was there and so was johnny depp but stranger even were the multiple miss albany lobster contestants. i am unaware of who was crowned queen lobsterpalooza. marty fed me some (lobster) tail doused in salty liquid butter (droooool), he also broke his cracker (because he's so strong, you see...) so he had to use his hands and pure rage to pull the beast apart! i donated some sunblock and baby-wipes to the boys, and scampered (actual scampers) off to find gabe and the venerable g3, who is currently on his quest to drink 100 cups of coffee. both gabes were conveniently checking the yanks game and providing updates- at that point the yanks were still losing (again), but shortly afterwards came back (again), then they were losing (again), and then they came back and WON (this is unnerving). the updates allowed me to stay angry at robbie cano which is very important these days. we got some fresh squeezed lemonade and saw a fried-pickles vendor... but when at lobsterpalooza, do as the lobsterpaloozians do. hence my very own lobsterpalooza.
then we walked around and found some crazies milling aboot, namely josh (aka st. steve), the bourbon cowboy, big daddy seapod, eventually big mama seapod, actual seapods, and a smattering of little podlings. crazy. kat, jack, and (father-to-be) johnnycat (i'm scurred) and the seapods bust out smokin'!
setlist courtesy of the hardest working man in showbiz, marty racine (he's the one wearing a shirt): Blackberry Brandy, Sad Sad Corner > Adirondack Blue, No Time Like The Present, Jet Smooth Ride, Somedays, Cary Suite, Hope I Shall Arrive > Sneakin Sally Through The Alley, Waiting 4 da Bomb To Drop, Leaving The Monopole. Encore : Rock & Roll 'blackberry brandy' was nice and refreshing in the hot sticky weather. it proved to be prophetic, the sun started easing up and while it wasn't very cold, a cooler wind (breeze) started blowing on our necks. 'sad sad corner'-> 'adirondack' was fun, and holy shit they pulled out 'cary suite'! it got a little messy in one part but the rest sounded just perfect and beautiful. i think around this time was when the crowd crossed the line into classic seapod madness mode- many folks sitting in the sun and drinking beer all day waiting for this-- it was definitely LOTS of fun. the same way i wanted to hear 'cary suite' is the same way i still want to hear 'josephine's grand motion', so for the next sporadic (you like the sound of that? sounds better than "reunion", yes?) show i hope they will pull that out of the box. 'hope i shall arrive' (to which i had texted the lyrics to the 2nd verse to them in the morning) sounded great. 'sneakin' sally through the alley' with max on lead remains the best cover of this WIDELY covered song i've EVER heard. it's sick. 'monopole' was awesome and i wish the set could have lasted longer, but they pulled out 'rock & roll' and an albany curfew pulled the plug on what could have possibly gone on for hours more. once again, i was slightly disappointed with the choice of encore (a cover??? again? really? REALLY???), but it was a family friendly event, so i can understand why they didn't do 'mr. blood' (although the lobster possibilities were endless). oh, and no old tp songs, so maaaaybe they could have rocked out 'anythings possible' or 'seymour'. they will have to save that for next time.
the folks from the waterhole trekked down (sans a sasquatch-like billy allen) along with the waterhole flag which they were dancing around with. i finally got to meet brandon devito and he tried to card me before offering me a bartending job up in saranac. lemme tellya, it's pretty fucking tempting these days. just an fyi, saturday night some douchebaggers broke into the waterhole and stole $10-15k worth of sound equipment... and a bottle of tequila. so if you hear any rumblings, please report it to your local friendly po-po occifer. apparently the suspects look like a bunch total assholes strong enough to carry off $10-15k worth of sound equipment (and a bottle of tequila).
marty passed out cookies as we hung out and said goodbye to everyone. i realized that max drives a minivan full of children now. that was a bit weird. it was getting late and you're not supposed to hang out in washington park after the sun sets, because you might die (no, seriously- it's pretty fucked.) so we took off. i was pretty gross by the end of the show and i toyed with the idea of seeing raisinhead afterwards at valentine's, but i'm old now, and all i really wanted to do was drive home and take a shower. so i did.
ominous seapods, 6/7/08, lobsterpalooza: 9.5 HUZZAHS! awesome show, guys! i think you should play moe.down!!!* show isn't up on archive yet, but there was definitely 1 taper (tapir?) there
* this is the IM conversation that just happened when i needed to confirm description (for news-worthiness) with sean: S: well the best of that group is the Campbell Brothers...they are most traditional and best S: ...they are the guys on all those sacred steel cds S: the Lee's are slightly less than that S: Randolph comes from the same kind of church (in east orange) S: but he is all hendrixed out LG: totally S: too much jam band...and not enough gospel LG: i could see that LG: too much wanking LG: not enough soul S: exactly S: that could be the damn t shirt
**"i'll play moe.down if they ask me." - max verna / "tell them we'll play for a no-thumb handshake." - dana "ribs" monteith
It's that time of year again. Time to plant your veggie garden? Time to honor the war-dead? Time to renew your subscription to the Christian Science Monitor? Yes to all, but more importantly, it's time for the Scripps (Inter)National Spelling Bee. Can nothing quell the excitement?
Last year Assberger's Syndrome stud Evan O'Dorney took it all home when he swiped the title from Canadian Nate Gartke and then announced that he was bored with spelling and would rather be composing piano concertos using the mathematical formula he invented; and that spelling was just "a bunch of memorization". Poor Nate really had a shit-pie tossed in his face, that kid played with real heart.
We celebrate the spelling bee with a tradition in the XMLB, which is we each pick 5 players from the pool for our team, and the manager who's cumulative picks reach the farthest wins the title of Scripps (Inter)National Spelling Bee Managing Champ. What's harder than spelling? Choosing enough home-schooled kids and immigrants that have mastered the art of the word based solely on their name/locations.
- So-Young Iris Chung of Peoria, IL- cuz that's an awesome name in so many ways. Also, the first time I typed it out, I accidentally added an 'h' (oh the irony of a spelling bee) and she became "So-Young Irish Chung" which is even cooler. - Austin B. Davis, of Fort McMurray, Alberta - reminds me of Ann B. Davis, Alice the Housekeeper from the Brady Bunch, R.I.P. (wait, did she die? or was that Sam the Butcher?) - Qian "Cathy" Deng, Athens, GA- this rules cuz growing up when people couldn't pronounce my friend Huiwen's name I would tell them to "just call her Cathy... with a C." - Willie Johnson, Brunson, SC- an unfortunate name, he's my pity pick - Lance Letson Hungar of McLean, VA. - my definitive whitey pick. A home schooled 12 year old 6th grader of Nordic descent. The Klan could use a strong leader like Lance to draw in the youth.
There are so many great contestants that while I had a 5-speller limit, I felt that the others deserve some recognition as well. So I'm giving out awards to some of these runners-up.
While both are on my team, they are not only competing against each other in the spelling bee but also for: Who Has the Gayest Name? These guys could be co-stars on lemonparty.org (nsfw) in 60 years. Lance Letson Hungar and Willie Johnson
The My My My Award... Mylieneth Mymy Guiang of Salinas, CA
The A Wang with This Many Vowels has to be Great Award... Did I just say that? Cody Aoan Wang, Calgary
The Stick with 1-2 Genres for Your Child's Name Please Award... Serena Skye Laine-Lobsinger -- what?
The Sounds a Lot Like "Kaboom" and Onomatopoeias (which I used to be able to spell but had to look it up in my old age) Are Awesome Award. Maria Isabel Yirebatiya Kubabom, Acra, Ghana
The Sounds like a Naval Warship Award. Talmage I.S. Nakamoto, Kealakekua, HI
The A Home-Schooled Girl Who is Probably a BLAST to be Around Award. Rachel C. Pinkerton of Coeur d'Alene, ID
The Gotta Have at Least ONE Sanjay Award. Sanjay Venkata Kottapalli, Rockford, IL
The Shortest Name Award... He Li, Eden Prairie, MN
The Nothing but a Bright Future for this One Award. Sriram Jagadeesh Hathwar
The This Will Look Awesome on a Business Card Award. Xavier Barnes
The This Kid has More "Sponsors" Than Just the Canton Repository Award... Anthony "Tony" E. Incorvati of Uniontown, OH
The Most Likely to Destroy and Devour Competition Award... Juliana M. Canabal-Rodriguez
The Gotta Have ONE Patel Award. Priya Patel
The Worst Hometown Award Stephanie Stancell of Muleshoe, TX (that's slightly West of Earth, TX)
The Soon to be In Custody of the State Award. Isaac Thegn Skarstedt of Saratoga Springs, UT
The Another Unfortunate but Slightly Less-So Than Willie Johnson Name Award. Emily Elizabeth Dick
Additionally, a huge shout out to my former Classics Professor at UVM, Dr. Jacques A. Bailly, who serves as the "pronouncer". Dr. Bailly was the 1980 National Champion. During my Satire class I had no idea why he was such a stickler for grammar and spelling. Only after watching the Spelling Bee on ESPN in 2003 did I make the revelation ("that voice sounds familiar... Dr. Bailly???"). Professor Bailly was the BOMB and despite my habit of not capitalizing letters, my Classics Satire class absolutely RULED (Aristophanes is a huge influence). He also held "cheese and cheese" sessions every so often which would essentially be a lo-fi MST3K salute that featured students sitting around watching cheesy movies while eating cheese plates.
Quarterfinals air live on ESPN360.com from 2-5:30pm on 5/29 (that's today) Semifinals air live on ESPN from 11am-2pm 5/30 (that's tomorrow) Championship Finals air live on ABC from 8-10pm* on 5/30 (also tomorrow).
*this is too late for home-schooled kids to be awake putting them at a distinct disadvantage.
you giant fucking douche. why won't you go on the DL already? you would be more useful benched for 2 weeks and coming back at 100% than you are playing at 30% and monumentally sucking. your home run the other day convinced me the drought was over and i should put you back in at OF. so i did. and then- NOTHING. please, for the love of cheesus- free the demons from within your hamstrings and HEEEAAAL!
hallelujah! let us pray to the almighty cheesus. cheesus is good. lynn mgr. the ultra cets
and now, a hypothesis about the state of the new york yankees...
if you've watched any of the horrendous games over the past couple of weeks, you might have noticed something is different about the new york yankees (other than posada and arod's absence). they are missing their magic. they are staring into space and have no fire. i believe they have somehow fallen under control of the mighty hypnotoad. who knows if joe torre did this before he left last year (he's a sneaky bastard), but if girardi can't figure out the keyword to unlock the spell, i'm afraid the yankees are doomed. DOOMED!
oh yeah, and a kid on a leash from a thursday afternoon yanks game i went to. this kid's gonna have some issues. award winning photo by gullo, here's the gallery
i wasn't planning on going to whistler this year, but kyle and maharlika are evil to the core and somehow twisted my arm and convinced me to go. it didn't hurt that my flight was free with credit card points and i really had nowhere else to be that week. so, the 3 of us planned an excursion to the great province of british columbia, canada. my journey began with a larf, as i went to check in at the cathay pacific desk at jfk and was told that my passport was due to expire the day after i flew back. whoops. has it been that long??? luckily, they let me on the plane because i was "only going to canada". good show, chaps! ahh, our great neighbor to the north.
cathay pacific is an asian airline (i checked with my asian friends to make sure it was reputable- that's how i roll.) that was pretty impressive- giant plane, lots of leg room, and a pleasantly empty flight to vancouver. first plane i've ever been on that had an UPSTAIRS (i was not allowed UPSTAIRS)! the tv screens on the back of each seat provided a vast array of entertainment- from movies, to tv shows, and even video games. as well as informative shorts with suggestions on how to stretch during a long flight. the selection was ideal! i'm pretty sure the the asian movie/tv channel offerings included more than one leehom joint. after touching down in the great white north a little after 1am, we hit customs and pretty much did the homeless person/college student in transit thing- found some empty benches in the international terminal and crashed until the car rental place opened up at 5:30am. a new york jew, i was unable to fall asleep in such an open area, so i kept myself busy by spouting insults at the rich people in the hotel upstairs from us. fuck those douchebags. kyle and maharlika now had the pleasure of the lynn that has been awake about 36 hours, something that usually only editors, producers, and the occasional rockstar experiences. madness ensues.
DAY TWO
paul* gave us some breakfast advice which was to go to the same place he had taken pete, richard, and i a few years back: paul's omelettery. i didn't remember much about it other than it was awesome and i wanted to go back. we killed a half hour at a starbucks and maharlika almost got hit by a bus, but we crossed the street and sat down to some down home vancouver breakfast. then i remembered what was so awesome about paul's- they always put (unless you don't want it there) a manage a trois of cheeses into their omelettes. i can't remember which ones, but one was cheddar, and another is a type of cream cheese. just-- holy fuck it was good. and the waiter was a yanks fan so he took care of us. oh, it might have been here where the culture shock hit. the guy at the car rental place was really cool, gave us a map, drew directions out for us, etc. but the waiter at paul's was so nice that kyle and maharlika were in shock- is everyone so friendly? yes. why? we're in canada, eh?
we hit the road and went up the sea-to-sky highway still in a massive construction phase as they widen it from 2 to 4 lanes for the 2010 olympics. they are blasting the sides of these mountains and the difference between now and the first time i was up there like 5 years ago is astounding and jaw-dropping. squamish now has a walmart and a home depot. vomit.
when we pulled into creekside and checked-in, i made the final decision to not hit the mountain that day. i was way too tired to function on the slopes. kyle and maharlika were hardcooooore though and they totally went up. maharlika's first gondola ride, no less! i took a nap in the lodge's game room until our room was ready, at which point i did not sleep more, i took a shower because- and i still stand by this statement: after trying to sleep in an airport and being in traveling mode for that long, i felt dirtier than i've ever felt after any moe.down. (that's 4 days without showering, plenty of partying, and being outside pretty much the entire time, mind you). i was absolutely disgusting and i wanted to burn my hoodie which i was afraid to touch anymore (i didn't, i washed it, i love that hoodie- i'm wearing it right now actually). anyways, once that ordeal was over i put on clean clothes and met kyle and maharlika for apres ski (apres shower) at dusty's, where i had a hot chocolate with creme de menthe (life is hard). later on we did some food shopping and had dinner over in the village at citta, which always works out. besides, they have frozen margaritas. i can't remember if this was the place heinz, courtney, and i did the rock n' roll bingo night at or if that was the amsterdam cafe?
DAY THREE
sleeping in a bed that night was fucking fabulous, i could have easily slept for 12+ hours, but unfortunately this type of trip doesn't cater to that luxury. however, sleeping a full 8 hours in a bed and waking up THERE seemed like a 14 hour sleep in a castle after the night before. we were up at 8 to pick up our freshly hot waxed skis/boards and get up on the mountain. i decided not to take a lesson this trip, but mostly because i have been doing pretty well with the lesson i took at breckenridge back in february- where i learned to ski with "soft feet"- i was pretty impressed with myself connecting and attacking moguls- and actually ENJOYING them! nuts! who knew? we headed over to harmony and symphony areas which are gorgeous (i don't care what russell says, that area is awesome). had a great day of brilliant conditions- powder, some fresh, some packed, some groomed, some not, weather was great and i was spent at the end of the day. awesome. we had a classy-type dinner at the mix by ric's, which included (refer to pictures below) a sublime (sauza, triple sec, mint, pineapple, lime) and a buddha fix (mango vodka, lychee, vanilla syrup, cranberry, soda) cocktail, tuna capaccio or something not quite ceviche and bruschetta with a putanesca cheesy dip thing that was awesome... i had a something-encrusted wild salmon over an edamame and mandarin salad... maharlika had some sort of deconstructed simple caesar salad or something that looked great but i think tom colicchio would have ripped it apart on top chef for being pretentious. and kyle had some sort of awesome spinach salad with strawberries or something it it... i should have taken a pic of the food menu i guess, i don't know how huiwen keeps track of this shit. i bought a few nanaimo bars at the village market for dessert. holy fuck i love those things. it's a layer of chocolate/coconut cookie, a layer of creamy goo, and then a hardened ganache-type chocolate top. YUMMY. i may have to try to make these so i can have them year-round.
DAY FOUR
the next morning started out pretty clearly, sort of. we went out on the patio and put on whistler-tv (the best tv station ever) to check out the weather. visibility was "variable". kyle put her skis in the locker and got a snowboard for the day cuz she likes joltingly painful falls. as we headed into the clouds we remained hopeful that "up top" was clear (i've skied through those fog clouds before, it's a rainforest inside of them, but clear as day on either side). it kinda wasn't. so i had to find the peak chair by memory, because we couldn't see 50 (then 20, then 5) feet in front of us, "i think it's over there." "where?" "fuck." at one point we got separated because i was totally blind and got dizzy trying to see so i stopped to wait for more visibility. as we were told later, in those conditions, "you can't tell which is snow and which is sky"- quite right- you don't know up from down and it's a total white-out. anyways- we went up peak chair and it was a really pretty site- we were on top of a blanket of clouds, quite literally. unfortunately, on our way down the saddle, that blanket closed in on us, and we really couldn't see anything. it's a weird feeling to know you're inside weather just sitting there in your gear. at some point you're going to have to leave, but you're hoping it'll clear up in a minute or two so you can see where you're going.
we went like 10 feet by 10 feet at a time on our way down so we didn't lose each other. soon we just decided to go eat some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and maybe the sun would burn the clouds off after lunch. HA! on our way out of the hotel we stopped by the front desk to talk to a very cute local and front desk dude named russell and asked him for weather advice and where to head. as he checked the webcams for us two of the other front desk guys came in and said there's an unmapped area called something-or-other, but there was no way we'd find it without a local. then the cute boys decided to send us back under franz's chair- but gave us specific instructions to stay left/in the trees. they had a lot of confidence in us so we played along cuz they were cute. so we went and found this really cool little mogul-y area where they told us to go and it was a pretty fun run, we did it a few times and liked it much (goes to show- always make friends with the locals!). and wouldn't you know it, at 3:30pm PST, 1/2 hour before the lifts were gonna close, the weather cleared up and we headed over to some of the blue runs as maharlika caught some sweet air at the terrain park. at one point i found myself sliding upside-down on my stomach on some moguls, but i was laughing, so it couldn't have been that bad. we hit the brasserie in the village for dinner- onion soups, salads, and awesome people watching. unfortunately our waitress was a bit special (some day she's gonna be quarterback), so she got a looney and not a two-ney. and if you know what that means, you're a commie.
the schick extreme razor rodeo was also set up in the village this day to help kick off the telus festival.
DAY FIVE
the forecast for friday was a warm one and the weather delivered. this was definitely the spring skiing day of the year- warmer than it should have been and then it was gonna get cold again the following week. we got up on blackcomb with an agenda, hopefully the snow would stay skiable long into the day. we got stuck on the jersey cream lift while a big air show was going on underneath us featuring pirates and star wars characters which was interesting, but we really did want to get some of our own sweet air that day. we hit the cloud 9/7th heaven area, which was just absolutely gorgeous. i don't recall ever hitting that side of blackcomb before and it was really beautiful with some great treed areas and an open bowl feel, i definitely will have to spend more time in this area on future visits. it was also directly underneath some hot sunny weather, so the snow definitely turned at one point. we reapplied sunscreen and decided to head over to the blackcomb glacier bowl before the sun got too high in there- also, that run takes a lot out of you, so it was best to do it while we still had some vim left in our blood.
we went up the showcase t bar (i'm afraid of these things- the last time i was on this one/the first time i was on a t-bar, i fell like 4 times, in various stages of t-bar-ness. it sucked. i got bruises, yo.) which is the only way to access the glacier entrance. at the top of the t bar you have to hike into the bowl by going up a really steep short hill, carrying all your equipment mind you, and then--- and this is the part i didn't remember from the first time--- so i'm not sure if an avalanche wiped the path or i just blocked it out- but there's a precarious ledge that was *maybe* a foot wide at it's widest point that we had to crawl along, in SKI BOOTS, still carrying all our gear. i actually got nauseaus while doing this, i was nearly shitting myself and hyperventilating- so i went really really slowly-- but finally made it. ugh. just thinking about it now freaks me out. kyle got a great shot of it: there were two guys in back of us and one of them fell off into the almost vertical barely mogul-ed wall and his buddy jumped off in after him (see slideshow below)-- they both looked pretty dazed when trying to get their shit together and crawl upwards towards their gear which was a good 10 feet away. it was pretty ridiculous. we all gathered ourselves up after the treacherous hike in and eventually picked spots to enter- we worked our ways to the inside portion away from the marked trail. i went horizontal across to the middle area of the bowl and somewhere about halfway down we caught up with each other to chill for a few minutes, take in the beauty, and steal it's soul with photos... and think about the hike in where we could have broken our necks and were like OMG WE ARE EXTREEEEME! WTF DID WE JUST DO??? i took the opportunity to interview us about how extreme we were. the audio is bad from high winds so i typed out a transcript- and the video is bad because apparently my camera was in the midst of breaking. while the quality on this clip is low, i feel it represents just how EXTREME we are, so i'm posting it anyway.
TRANSCRIPT: lynn: here we are in the blackcomb glacier bowl and we had to hike in and the two guys that were in back of us fell off that cliff... and i'm glad that it wasn't us... yeah, it was pretty scary. i was shitting myself. kyle: (unintelligible due to high winds) ... looked down on that thing... lynn: yeah, i was trying not to because i was getting nauseas.... so, how's the blackcomb glacier bowl treating you? kyle: it's awesome. yeah. lynn: how was the hike in? kyle: (unintelligible) traumatizing (?) lynn: with carrying your skis and (unintelligible)? kyle: (unintelligible) maharlika: i think the snow is so cold because we're on a glacier. lynn: that's a good theory maharlika: it is, it's very cold, my ass is freezing. lynn: and i think it's good that we hit it now because if we waited until the end of the day it would be like slushy and avalanche-y, they'll probably close it for blasting later... so, how has your experience on the blackcomb glacier been treating you so far? maharlika: well, i had to hike a little farther to find a flatter area to drop in, and then i look up and i realize the snow had been falling off the mountain lynn: yeah, there's like little mini-avalanches all around us maharlika: (unintelligible) lynn: (unintelligible) it's 6.5 miles until we actually get to the next chairlift, so we should go.
we left the bowl and all had a jolt when hitting the slush-line. it's like slamming on the brakes, i nearly lost my shit (a couple of years ago i hit a slush-line and got whipped backwards out of my skis- my neck actually made a CRACK sound when my head hit the ground... that was the first time i ever considered wearing a helmet...) but let out a girly shriek and heard a "whoa" from the guy right in back of me... it was a shared moment of panic. when we got to the bottom there's a rest area where we sat and met one of the bands performing at the telus festival, they were dressed in robes from the westin hotel and long john's and asked us to take pictures of them. it was pretty funny. it was at that moment my camera broke. sad. maharlika got some shots though: it's 6.5 miles from the entrance to the bowl to the closest chairlift, so it took a little while but we went down to the bottom of the glacier chair and went into the lodge for some grub. then we headed down and did the rock 'n roll -> backstage pass run. this is usually my favorite run to do, but the trail was ungroomed and since it was so warm out, it was REALLY REALLY difficult to ski down this in any normal way. i had had it, if i kept going i would have gotten hurt. kyle runs marathons and maharlika is training for a race-> they weren't as tired and achy as me, so they did another run and i got stuck on the gondola with some friendly people on my way down... it's tempting to start running to make my skiing better... <-- see? utter madness.
that night we watched a few minutes of the big air show going on in the village and pretty much everyone competing kept eating total shit at the bottom. while it was kind of funny, it would have been cooler if they were hitting their landings. we decided against trying to sneak into the mtv canada booth we were standing next to ("we're from the new york office.") and after perusing many menus ended back up at citta. this time we sat in the atrium overlooking the main stroll and had some amazing people-watching as the big air event ended. we played "count the hoodies" (our own included).
DAY SIX
we woke up at the asscrack of dawn on sunday and stopped by the creekside market to stock up on chocolate bars to give to folks at home. while up there i discovered the lovely hagensborg truffle pig made in vancouver. it's exquisite. and the bar is sectioned into little tiny piggies. the mint one is superb! and then we left our wonderful home at legends lodge and headed down the sea-to-sky, stopping in britannia beach at galileo's coffee for some awesome breakfast. and it was the perfect place to hop out and hop back into the car (i got a cup-o-coffee and a ham/egg/cheese on an english muffin). returned the rental, headed to our terminal, and killed a couple of hours in duty free. ALL THE TOBLERONE YOU COULD DREAM OF-- ALL IN ONE PLACE... once again, cathay pacific flight home was peaceful, beautiful views of the rockies and the sunset over the midwest. watched a j.k. rowling documentary and played battleship on the video console (totally sweet). when we landed i think the thing that was most offensive was the jfk experience, we were slapped right in the face with nyc culture that included a fully armed customs cop yelling and berating/threatening this frail old indian woman because she didn't fill out her card correctly. ahh, new york... bring me your huddled masses yearning to breathe free... i got my bag back and the handle was completely demolished- "sheered off" is more like it. out of spite i wouldn't pay the $3 to rent the cart (CARTS ARE FREE IN CANADA) to bring my shit through the doors... unfortunately for me i had my skis and boot bag to also contend with. but fuck it, i won on principle. listened to the yanks game on the way home and was very happy to see my doggy.
dear bc, you rule, can't wait to see you again! love, lynn
*since paul couldn't make it up to join us on saturday, i told him he'd have to come to moe.down to make up for it. sounds like he and megan are gonna do it this year!!! awesome!
SLIDESHOW TIME, SUCKAS!!! consider this a tribute: samsung L55W, R.I.P. 2006-2008
why are you single-handedly driving team GAMERA into the ground? never mind the yankees, you are causing some serious damage to MY baseball team. while i realize (and numbers strongly indicate) you never have very productive aprils (i do not recall last april being this painful), i encourage you to recognize your habit of: swinging at the first pitch, messing with your timing, not trusting your natural instincts, and pretty much being completely impatient and utterly incompetent at the plate which most certainly carries over into your field-work. why did you try and steal 2b today??? you're messed in the head! goddamnit, does girardi have to break your fucking thumbs for you to get this? your timing is off, your head is in your ass, and you are an atrocious 15/95 on the season. there is no reason NOT send you to triple A and put gonzalez at 2b. except that ONE of these days you'll finally break out of your shithole. but WHEN, dear robinson, WHEN??? late may/june??? it seems now that _i_ must practice some patience.
so, for your own sake, for the yankees sake, and most importantly- for team GAMERA's sake- TURN IT THE FUCK ON!
