corn cob pipes: the debate continues

my dear pal heinzy has somehow discovered my myspace blog and felt the need to send me an email in response to my black crowes PNC review from a couple of months ago:

Yo Lynn

Thanks to the internet, I can read into people's thoughts and words, thus,
I have 9 reasons why corn cob pipes are cool:

1. They are cheap. Usually about 2 bucks.
2. They're made of plastic and corn, which is 50 percent natural.
3. Corn and plastic do not set off metal detectors.
4. If you lose,break, or dispose of......(See reason #1).
5. In the rare occasion it snows and you're building a snowman, who are
they going to go to when they have 2 pieces of coal and a button?
6. The initials CCP are eerily silmilar to the old Soviet Union initials
CCCP.
7. Corn cob pipes are viewed as "dashing" in some societies.
8. Native American Indians may have smoked out of similar pipes, minus the
plastic filter and corn sticker on the bottom of it.
9. Take the word 'hi' and 'u' out hiccup.

Later
Heinz
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my response was as follows:
you have not convinced me, sir.

I DO NOT LIKE THE CCP.
i would not like it in a house.
i would not like it puffing with a mouse.
i do not like it here nor there.
i do not like it anywhere.
i do not like the corn cob pipe.
i would not smoke it with barney fife.
i don't want to smoke it on the floor or in the mezz.
i don't want to toke it with hans moleman wearing a fez.
i do not like the corn cob pipe.
it gives me a headache, it gives me strife.
i love you heinzy very much,
but your corn cob pipe i will not touch.

smooch.
lynn :)--~~~
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what are YOUR views on the CCP debate? please share them here.