Thursday, December 27, 2007

peelander-z, 11/10/07, the knitting factory tap room, nyc, ny

if you've never heard of peelander-z, it's because they're not japanese, they're not american, they're not human... they're aliens. and they've been sent to earth to entertain us. on 11/10/07 they descended upon the knitting factory to play an hour long set of their trademarked madness.

we got there slightly early and had to watch some really loud and poor hairband/honky rock for a while, but peelander blue, red, and yellow hit the stage (pink was at the merch booth and working the spotlight) ready to raise some hell. they immediately busted out with 'mad tiger' and were rockin' it when about halfway through a drunk person (who feels really bad about this and has already apologized but i can't write a review of this show without mentioning this) started a chain of human dominoes that i was unfortunate enough to be at the end of and i went flying (as did my margarita) head-first into a wall. it fucking hurt. the security guy tried to get me to go outside and get fresh air, but i fucking bought that ticket 2 months earlier and had been looking forward to the show since the last time i had seen peelander a couple of years ago at the kaiju big battel- i wasn't missing a minute of this 1-hour set. i'm not old yet, motherfuckers. flash forward a couple of hours: giant bump, bag of frozen peas, a headache that lasted a couple of weeks, etc. etc. if you've ever smashed the shit out of your skull, you know how it goes (i grew up with too many older brothers- THIS TIME i stayed conscious!). incidentally, my little ear crystals got dislodged in the blow and i have to do exercises to re-distribute them now so the room will stop spinning, wheee! and yet, the world will never stop revolving around me- you see how that works? anyways, back to the music.

as far as peelander's "hits", i think they did all of them? "steak", "y.y.y.", and who can forget the lively, "hooooooooooo!!!!"? i did recognize a few of the songs. there was a tango line of audience members turned percussionists, they also swapped their instruments out with members of the audience- what they do is hold up signs asking for "DRUMS", "GUITAR", and "BASS", and people from the audience come up and play those instruments. it's a total nightmare, but it's also awesome. and what peelander-z show would be complete without a frame of human bowling? i'm not sure what the answer is, i think they do this at every show, but it's pure insanity.

1 hour is not nearly enough time for peelander-z to rock this world, they didn't even have time for an encore! the knitting factory tap room was not the ideal venue either, as the ceilings are really really LOW, and the band wasn't able to jump as high as their typical antics flow (they were hitting the ceiling when jumping/climbing on things, and i think one of them was actually pushing himself away from the ceiling when the crowd was carrying him around).

i could easily see these guys doing a big set on the mainstage or a full night in the beer tent at moe.down (though, they might need to install some laminate flooring for the bowling portion). if you hear they are landing in your town, go check them out, they are FUN, it's an experience- and hopefully they will get to play LONGER.

japanese punk rock sugar rush from eating too many cupcakes and then standing on your head for too long gwar: 7.75* HUZZAHS!

mad tiger:

*had to deduct points for the head trauma and length of show

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

bruce springsteen & the e street band, 10/17/07, msg, nyc, ny

i found myself uninspired write this review while also writing about bruce for the top 40 videos show. i know i know... laaaazy.

so, i attended this show by odd coincidence. at some point during the day of 10/16 i got an email saying that the music department was changing the list of top 40 videos on our show. they were taking away 2 of my videos and so i had to choose ones to replace them with. i lost a carlos santana song (wasn't his best song, didn't mind it so much) and brandi carlile's, "the story", which i had never heard before the show started and really didn't mind losing- she screeches a lot. i had landed that one in the draft in the round that was literally the "i'll choose anything that isn't avril lavigne" round. anyways, i had the fortune of them nixing those two vids, and i ended up choosing bruce springsteen (why not!? he's the boss!) and some other vid.

immediately i emailed my buddy gabe, he's a huge bruce fan and my most reliable source of bruce information. i told him that if he had any pressing questions or interesting points about bruce's "radio nowhere" speak now or forever hold your tongue. he provided me with some insight about the song and then said that by an odd twist of fate, he just found out he had an extra ticket for the next night's bruce show, and would i be interested in going? i'd never seen bruce before. the next night was gabe's 75th bruce springsteen show on his path to 100 bruce shows before his birthday next year. gabe is from jersey- i suppose all jersey boys go through this rite of passage. my first bruce show? e street band? msg? gabe? how the fuck could it get any better? needless to say i was pretty psyched.

i met up with gabe after work and we were herded into msg with the rest of the bruce fans. i have memories of bruce springsteen from when i was a little kid- my sister's best friend karen had posters of him all over her walls- when he got married (the first time) she cried. i do remember that. he's a fucking legend. i mean, it's bruce effin springsteen. not only that, but back with the e street band? the legend before me is so great it was hard to wrap my head around. without a doubt i would be witnessing some sort of history.

the show in a nutshell was like every bruce springsteen music video you've ever seen. the man and the band were rockin' it out onstage. the crowd was eating that shit up. they knew every word, they sang along. not only was bruce conducting the e street band, he was conducting the crowd. he shushed them, he sped them up, he got them screaming. it was pure showmanship. he threw his guitar (not just tossed- but THREW) his guitar over his head backwards and his guitar tech was THERE and caught it, spot-on. it was good stuff. having gabe there was essential as he was able to give me some quick insights on songs, history, musicians--- in between him standing there with a shit eating grin on his face of course. there was a sign language interpreter to our left on the floor with a light shining on her and she was signing all the lyrics to someone- proving that even the deaf enjoy the boss.

all in all it was pretty frickin' cool. i would see him again, sure. have i drank the kool-aid? i'm not so sure about that. it was more about witnessing the man, the rock legend, performing in front of me, doing what he does best- being bruce springsteen. the e street band were top notch- clarence clemons wailing, little steven rockin' it out, max weinberg pounding the skins with perfect posture- no joke. it was a really great rock show. i won't lie- at some point as i was enjoying said rock legend (gabe, don't hate me), i DID think to myself, damn, it'd be so cool right now if i was watching neil young... but, that's for another time!

and it was actually- it was a mature audience. in an odd moment, i went to pee and some woman was in the bathroom on her cell phone saying goodnight to her kids and reminding them to brush their teeth before bed... i had a flashback to not the last time, but two times ago when i was at msg to see the beastie boys, just completely FACED with some friends, aaaaaaahahahahhaa... anyways, i just enjoyed the juxtaposed moment. i suppose you had to be there.

sooooo... last minute bruce springsteen and e street band show? kickass seats? ending the show with a lovely irish ditty? gabe, you're the man! a bonafide rock legend live before my very eyes: 8.5 HUZZAHS! why not?

(oh, and at some point i realized i was calling gabe "nuts" for the 100 bruce shows thing, but realized there are bands i've seen well over 100 times, so it's okay then... neither of us are nuts... right?)


Sunday, December 9, 2007

paris gets the led out?

speaking of WTF???

in more 'the world is not fair' news, according to perez hilton, paris hilton will be attending led zeppelin's 12/10 ahmet ertegun benefit concert in london. the legendary slut-whore (and led zeppelin fan?) got ahold of some tickets while millions of fans like myself weren't even able to access the website for weeks on end. i made the decision if i was one of the lucky mofo's to get into the website, register for the lottery, and then actually get ahold of a ticket, that i would haul my ass over to london to witness history being made. well, that didn't happen. but i have a theory that maybe paris in the future is the one responsible for funding the real flux capacitor, gets a time machine made, travels back in time, and WAS the original mud shark girl. and THAT is how she got tickets for the main event, peoples.


can't wait for the full tour! I WILL ROCK THAT SHIT!

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

let's have a money fight!

in keeping with the awesome meeting we had at work today explaining the fabulous new changes to the freelance system at mtv networks, i felt it was time to take all my money out of the bank in cash, and throw it around to have a good old fashioned money fight!


and because i have the utmost respek for the peeps in the writer's guild fighting the good fight- and since we all have the same bones to pick when it comes down to it, i just wanted to make sure everyone saw this.

i think i hear a cat in the elevator... but banksy's got a point with all those rat's, y'all.

huzzah, guildies. huzzah!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

trent lott: lobbyist, gay, or gay lobbyist?

Senator Republican Whip Trent Lott is resigning. It's pretty sudden. It's pretty interesting. Here are some reasons why.


There's a new Lobbying Limits & Ethics Reform Bill about start up 1/1/08. Here's the gist: if Trent Lott leaves office by the end of 2007 (which he has just announced he is going to do), he can go into the private sector and only has to wait a year until he can start lobbying his former colleagues in congress. If he waited until the start of 2008 to resign, when the new law takes place, he would have to wait 2 years until he could start lobbying his former colleagues. Additionally, the new law will require any Senator planning on leaving office must disclose within 3 days negotiations for future employment before their successor is elected- and they CANNOT seek employment as a registered lobbyist while still employed by the Senate.

Basically. If Trent Lott leaves before the end of 2007 when the new law takes effect, he has more bargaining power to obtain a job as a lobbyist- and he'll be a more effective one since he can play grab ass with all his buddies in 1 year vs. 2. Could this be about earning more money in the private sector vs. his duties as an elected public servant who has 5 years left on his 6 year term? Not that I'll miss the douchebag, but it just goes to show the possible motives… On Brian Lehrer this morning someone mentioned also "screws" (to quote a t shirt I recently saw: you say "tomato" I say "fuck you") Mississippi as well who are now going to have to scramble for a new Senator in the interim. Look at your Senator now, people! Good stuff.

Trent Lott voted against the Lobby Ethics Reform Bill that is placing all these new restrictions on politicians lucrative behavior that some say he is trying to avoid. Really?

15 minutes on the Brian Lehrer show if you're interested…

However, in a press conference today, Lott denied that the upcoming change in rules had anything to do with his resignation... so maybe he is:


Perez Hilton reported on his blog the other day that the reason Trent Lott was resigning so suddenly was because news was about to break of his secret tryst with a muscley armed boy toy (he WAS a cheerleader, you know…).
and that Larry Flynt and Hustler had offered up money to dig some dirt up on Lott back in June… Regardless… Great artist's rendition of cum on the mouth.


Okay, well I've learned in life that things that seem too good to be true usually are… but still… Trent Lott as a gay lobbyist. In the words of Phil Ken Sebben, "HA HA, DANGLY PARTS!"

Thursday, November 15, 2007

maybe the j-bomb doesn’t brake for the rockies & other topics of note including bacon party!

wow. 13-1? really? okay. so yeah, originally i was totally behind the rockies on this one... until i read this:

i'm the first one to admit that as a yanks fan i'm usually the last to stand behind the bosox... but after reading the above article, i had to reconsider my opinion. people can believe in whatever they want to believe in, to each their own. but when you're basically coming out and saying that your baseball team has the support of the j-bomb himself, and "players of character" are those you are looking to sign, that is kind of bizarro to me (a heathen). the air is thinner a mile up, but i guess it's slightly closer to heaven. i thought you got into the world series cuz you played kickass baseball, but maybe it was just meant to be? i wonder where kaz matsui fits into all of this?

regardless. the rockies dropped game 1 against beckett 13-1 last night. KABLAMMO! maybe the j-bomb doesn't swing your bats after all? or maybe satan just supports the red sox? and well, chuck is satan... so can they be that bad? or maybe 'rado shouldn't have gotten 8 days off in between series starts? methinks it could have been too much time for contemplation.

btw, john smoltz is a cocksucker, huh?

next of note:

i had the pleasure of interviewing regina spektor last week which was pretty cool by itself. however, after wrapping, we did what all russian jews do. we talked about mucus & sinuses, and i wrote her a rx for a nasal wash and gargle called alkalol cuz she couldn't seem to get over a cough/sinus problem that was the remnants of bronchitis, and she was especially nervous because the next night she had a sold out show at the hammerstein. she was incredibly excited to break out her neti pot and try out my "magic potion" immediately because nothing else seemed to work. it's comforting to know that no matter how much fame and fortune separates them, russians jews can keep it realz with their peeps.


bacon party update... i have a spectacular plan of attack for the cookies: bacon infused peanut butter cookies with chocolate ganache stripes. hear me out. my regular peanut butter cookie dough, but i'll substitute some of the regular butter with bacon fat in order to infuse the flavor... then cook the bacon and chop it up, use that as "bacon chips" (instead of chocolate chips). make the cookies... and then do a chocolate ganache to drizzle on once the cookies cool. the other option is to not infuse the butter and to just leave it to the "bacon chips" to do the flavoring into the peanut butter dough... everything else is the same! sound awesome? you know it does!

i have gathered some advice on prepping the bacon (since i never make it, this is an obstacle for me). alton brown says to do it in the oven on a cookie rack with a tray underneath to catch the fat. he swears by it. and the man is a genius...

Baumy says: Start by laying down 3 to 4 paper towels on the counter, or in the microwave. Cover the paper towel with the bacon. (FYI- Bacon should NOT be overlapping) Cover the layer of bacon with another paper towel on top. This makes it a LITTLE less messy. And then the secret for nuking bacon is, add the total number of strips, and add one minute. So you'd cook 9 strips for 10 minutes. 10 for 11.

Have a nest of new paper towels ready, and when your shit beeps, take the bacon off the fat soaked paper towels, and onto the fresh dogs... Essentially, you want to dry them. They'll be fat free, crispy and delicious.

and jim gaffigan says...

oh yeah... and turkey is invading iraq.

stay tuned for a bruce springsteen @ msg review!

Monday, October 15, 2007

moe.down 8, 8/31-9/2/07, turin, ny: it's just a little dusty- it's still good, it's still good!

an unexpected email from mr. jlo himself had me whisked away in a black SUV in no time flat. and what's moe.down without a little rain? (check out the strike 48 seconds in)

this year i invested in a waterproof poncho and rainpants which of course meant i wouldn't need them, as the weather forecast was one of the utmost beauty- so our hopes for the thursday storm was that it would pass over turin and flatten down the campgrounds in time for our arrival on friday. we red roofed it. the locals showed up as they always do, which makes for some interesting people watching. and we hit the sack to prepare for the morning rush.

friday, 8/31/07: it begins

i awoke for what would be my last shower of the next 4 days. it's times like these you try and absorb as much hot water and soap as you possibly can. while it's true you can stick your head under a campgrounds faucet and keep relatively sane, there's something about hot water that keeps the civilian mindset in check. and we'd be checking out of civility in mere minutes. we hit the price chopper and dollar store for some last minute supplies. hern thought twice and put back a ceramic crucifix after the checkout lady remarked how lovely it was and he stated his intent was to duct tape it to a pvc pipe next to a scarecrow and frankenstein head. he's a heathen, but even the heathyenest of heathens has their limits. with that, a line of cars headed up to turin. as luck would have it, the flashing lights in our rear view mirror were intended for a black volvo not in our caravan. the line getting into the lot we faced last year was gone, in it's place, rose a fit of dust and clear skies. sign of things to come. the unlucky black volvo pulled in a few spaces down from us and out came a screaming girl. the piggies had clearly harshed her mellow.

radio flyers galore and we walked to set up camp. mr. STEVE KENNY himself was right where i expected him to be! except the bastard set himself up on the corner of a grid right next to a water faucet. hugs and introductions to the insane inhabitants of "camp get.down" who filled our inboxes with about 100+ emails in 2 days including haikus of excitement and hospitality! i couldn't wait to meet these folks, but, "we ain't setting up on a corner! you're nuts!" so we moved back a little bit and started chopping in.

thursday, 8/30/07

they were kind enough to lend us another wagon and it was down to business! you know, i think after 8 years we've got this system down pat. the weather was gorgeous, i had already covered myself in sunscreen (have made this mistake before- the weekend gets difficult when your shoulders are purple) so the 11am set-up in direct sunlight was taken care of- and within an hour of so, the red light district was up and running. we were only waiting on a few folks. katmama and jack would be arriving a few hours later, and poor bachy wouldn't end up making it til manana. now there was the important time decision: to chill, to nap, or to party? make no mistake people- moe.down is a weekend of fun. but the nap is an important factor in this fun. and many times, the nap has saved many a glorious set of music for me. so, when you start debating the nap- my experience says- that is your gut telling you to go for it. because when you have a full day/night/day/night/day/night of music ahead of you, napping is good, folks.

oh, but when you've been drinking and baking in the hot sun since 7am, sometimes you need more than 2 hours of sleep… which is why i felt kinda bad about this… but it was fucking time for all the music to start… al and the transamericans, the roots, and ha ha the moose… and so when i went to fetch steve and he was passed out in his tent, i decided to get him the fuck up! STEVE KENNY! WAKE THE FUCK UP! THE MUSIC IS ABOUT TO START!!! "how long has he been sleeping?" i asked the other inhabitants of camp get.down… "like, 2 hours… we've been trying to get him up… he's out…" "2 hours?? that's fucking long enough… 2 HOURS IS LONG ENOUGH STEVE!!! GET THE FUCK UP! al and the transamericans, the roots, ha ha the fucking moose!!! MUSIC!!!", "lynn? is that you?" i heard a voice… well, that was good… and then slowly but surely… the beast awakened… steve came crawling out of the tent and actually, he pretty much immediately started dancing, grabbed a hot dog (no bun), and was ready to fucking party. damn yo. hardcore!

it should be noted at this point that i listened to most of the transamerican's set from our campsite as i saw them a couple of weeks before the .down at the lion's den, and i decided to eat and conserve some energy- but they sounded fucking awesome. and since snow ridge mowed down some of the taller grasses and stuff behind what was the area leading up to that back entrance to the main stage- the acoustics in our field actually increased, which was pretty awesome, cuz you could really hear a lot more music over there now- so that was rockin'.

the roots were awesome, and apparently one of their members was actually leaving the band that night- so it was actually really weird because they did a big send off. so it was kind of sad. the set kind of stopped in the middle to do a toast. but i gotta say, it was fucking awesome to have a real hip hop group rep at moe.down. not a group like- saayyy, i dunno--- um… fathead? yah, and if you were there you could have plainly seen- everyone totally dug it. as you'll read further on- moe. fans have a pretty diverse taste in music- it's not just hippie crap. rap, rock, metal, bluegrass- there's appreciation for music across the board. so it's cool that moe. invite bands from the full music spectrum to perform at the .down every year, and it's well appreciated.

then- ha ha the MOOSE! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE! dr. guano, jeff von kickass, and sledge, were fucking AWESOME! and by awesome, i mean they fucking sucked. holy crap they were awful! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE! every time i see them they get better. and by better i mean fuck those guys. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE!!!!!! i would totally beat up chuck in the name of freedom. "we don't need your applause!" FUCK YEAH!

and now… first set of moe.! this is when the aforementioned friday afternoon nap REALLY comes in handy. at some point we had gone back to the campsite and met up with steve, who was already in top notch shape and babbling about how he was going to sneak in 30 beers and be a hero. here's an account of what is probably a lost chunk of time that he has long since forgotten… somehow katmama, jack, and i decided to hang back and maybe it was cuz we weren't drinking in the beer tent or something so we ended up together? i can't recall, but steve was with us, and we headed inside. steve for some reason was determined to take us to find his cousin. which was great and all, but the path he was headed in was directly through the taper section and it's the friday night moe. set, so this is pretty packed right now and he's pretty shitfaced right now and moving rather quickly (see: running) and while we realized this is a bad move, we had to convince him of this- but first we had to catch up. after about 10 rows of chairs, we were about 5 feet directly in front of our first mic and 10 feet horizontally headed towards one, i managed to catch up and grab steve's arm, swing him around. "steve, where are you going?" "we have to find my cousin, i have beer!" "is your cousin a taper?" "no" "then we have to turn around, this is the taper section- let's walk around the soundboard, okay?" steve is totally cool and says "oh, okay" at which point some nerd (i am allowed to call him that, i used to be a taper) decided to start giving me shit even though i had obtained full control of this situation. "you can't walk through here" (i wish there were s's in that sentence, so i could write out a lithsp). "i'm taking care of it, dude", and then nerd goes, "turn off your headlamp!", then i MIGHT have said, "shut up, geek." cuz me and my headlamp just saved his ass from being bowled over- DOUCHE. anyways… so from that point, we went up and around the soundboard, and steve took off running down the hill to find his cousin while we hung. he found his cousin and his girlfriend- dragged them up to where we were- to hand them some bud lite- and i think they were a little disappointed as they were FRONT ROW CENTER… but they still loved him. oh, and apparently on his way back up, he fell over two girls, and apologized by getting up and doing air guitar… regardless- at some point in time, steve decided to go take a piss in the woods.

steve: i'm gonna go take a piss… in the woods!
lynn: okay… um… make sure you take your flashlight!
steve: good idea! (grabs and shows me flashlight)

annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd… that's the last i saw of steve on friday night.

so, as far as the music goes… friday night's moe. set- awesome way to kick off the weekend. the weather was great, the vibe was great, and the music was great. and i always love to hear 'bearsong'- thought they'd wait til mid-weekend to throw it in there, but who cares? 'opium' was a nice treat. speaking of which. HA. 'lylelovit', good surprise- always fun! good times on the hill. thoughts and hopes turned towards steve making it back to his tent alright… or at all.

saturday, 9/1/07

i woke up saturday morning with what i could only guess is similar to the excitement of a kid on xmas morning- i wouldn't know, i'm a jew. but a full day of crazy music was about to begin! at 1pm the meat puppets would ascend on snow ridge! and we heard perry farrell's satellite party soundcheck and they were fucking awesome already! holy crap! wtf! adding to the excitement, mr. marty racine arrived in our campsite and i slow-motion-ran toward him as if it were through a meadow (a dusty dusty meadow, avoiding ropes, tarps, and cords), holding my coffee. i didn't get to see marty enough this year, so i was psyched he came to moe.down. and before we knew it- i couldn't wait any longer- i frickin' rushed my ass over to the stage cuz the meat puppets were starting!!! went in, marty didn't want to go up front, but i did- but the bass was way too fucking loud down at the bottom of the hill, so i tried putting in my filters but it wasn't worth it. so i went back up to marty and walked right into pat and happy lopez and the 'cuse crew and got to chill with them for the set, so that was fucking sweet! i miss those guys and since the seapods disbanded, moe.down seems about the only time i get to see them nowadays. selah! oh, and i think around now bach showed up? or was he there when i woke up? i can't remember. this is what happens when you wait a month to write a review. or this is what happens at moe.down… you be the judge.

the meat puppets were great- everything you'd expect from them… actually, i was waiting for the weirdness- but that came later on. they did a lot of chill stuff, but it was all really cool. the material i was more familiar with came later on in the show, i was actually hoping to hear 'shine' and 'station', but alas, they didn't play either. i had the pleasure of seeing the meat puppets at the manhattan centre ballroom in '96, so when al announced at snoe.down that they would be playing at moe.down i actually shrieked out loud in glee. another example of a band you wouldn't expect to find at a typical fest, but were invited and rocked out! fucking awesome! love it!

moe.'s afternoon set was great, i had a blast, hung with marty for pretty much the whole thing, and i have to admit- i think we were sitting on the ground chilling for the entire time curt kirkwood was onstage for 'mexico', but we still enjoyed it all. it was an awesome afternoon set, everyone was feeling the good vibes, good weather, i'm digging 'shoot first' cuz chuck is da bomb. did i mention the dust? wow. i would have liked to have seen state radio, and i didn't. i don't remember why, i think i was containing myself for…

perry farrell's satellite party. holy fucking shit. i've been to every moe.down… i've seen a lot of bands… i have to say that perry farrell's satellite party has got to have been one of the most well received and most loved (and loved back) bands that has ever played at a moe.down. i know this is going to sound completely cheesy and hippie-like, but the love vibes going on back and forth between perry and us in the crowd were uber-tastical. go see this band if you have a chance, they rocked their asses off. it was an just all-out rockfest. he played some satellite party originals, some jane's addiction songs, some porno for pyros… and apparently that was perry's wife on stage? but i am not sure why they gave her a microphone, cuz i guess she sang a bit, but mostly she was dancing around in hot-pants and lifting her leg above her head. it was a talent showcase! GO SEE THIS BAND!

oh yeah, so at some point i went to the bathroom and of course ran right into a slew of people i knew cuz that's what happens at the bathroom line: live music beth (i lost you and didn't get to say goodbye)!!! annie!!!! and then kristin from camp get.down and was like, "hey, how's steve doing?" "oh, he just got back from the hospital". WHAAAT??? yes, that's right. steve kenny. just got back from the hospital. apparently steve puked so hard that he thought he hurt himself. (i had stopped by earlier in the day and he was doubled over in pain, not looking so good, like maybe he had pulled something puking... yummy!). so he went to the medical office and they thought maybe he had collapsed a lung. so then he went to the hospital. and the dr. asked him, "how many beers did you have, son?" "about 30, sir." "that's impressive." he was given a few bags of fluids and a pink piece of paper that said, "avoid alcohol" and "drink plenty of non-alcoholic fluids". then steve and his friends went to wal-mart and a concerned utican called the police to report an escaped mental patient on the loose. go figure. all this footage (and more) can be seen, by visiting warren's myspace page (see: warren's chapter 2). steve kenny, ladies and gentlemen, steve kenny.

moe. saturday night set! well, despite the fact that i was screaming at perry, "FUCK moe., PLAY ANOTHER SET!!!" i did indeed want to see moe. play more on saturday. so, it was okay with me that they did. how on earth they were going to top the satellite party's set was beyond me though. perry came out and sang vocals on one song which was cool. the meat puppets had some fun with 'big world' though, and as predicted & in rob's words, they "got weird", but that's the meat puppets being the meat puppets. liquid acid's a helluva drug. i've always liked the 'mcbain-> george' combo, thumbs up. during the first set, we were up front, and we were hanging with some dude that kept screaming 'TIMMY TUCKER'! and swearing that they were going to play the "BEST 'TIMMY TUCKER' EVER tonight!!!" which was funny, and actually, not so annoying, cuz the guy was actually funny and we kind of engaged him in conversation rather than let it go on. and i'm not being sarcastic. like, this dude could have totally been an annoying fucking dick. but he was actually pretty amusing. i mean, if i were in the band and some dude were screaming that at me all night i might feel differently, and if he were a different personality type, he totally could have been an asshole- but he was pretty fun and we got into it. and we actually went into a deep discussion about it, cuz like, sure, we might hear timmy tonight, but really, i've heard some fucking amazing timmy's in my day, and odds are- while i'm always open minded to the possibilities- what are the odds that THIS 'TIMMY TUCKER' is going to be the best? well, it might be, because THIS DUDE is a part of it, and he just seemed so damn sure!!!! anyways. so during the 2nd set, they busted into 'TIMMY TUCKER' and well, we weren't standing next to that guy anymore, but we're sure he was going apeshit- actually- i think we could hear his head asplode at that point all the way up in back of the soundboard. so that was awesome. it was a great 'timmy tucker'… but the best? nah. as a matter of fact, a shuffle on my ipod kicked on 11/27/04 roseland yesterday and i was like- "now THIS 'TIMMY TUCKER'… THIS TIMMY IS UP THERE!!!!"

and it's at this part of the evening where hern took off to piss in the woods… and yes, he had his headlamp… but he didn't turn it on… and apparently slipped and fell on something wet and chunky…. and that's when a mighty roar came thundering down the mountain… "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"… and the legend of pukebutt was born. some say if you still listen closely you can hear him scooting across the ground and crying out, "WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY????!!!" was it a meatball hero? was it a sausage pizza? it definitely wasn't from the veggie hut, folks. examine the pics for further details. next year maybe he'll bring 2 pairs of pants, cuz he was stuck wearing shorts for the rest of the weekend. honestly, i would have bought a new hoodie (he washed his) if i hadn't packed like 3 of everything. that's fuckin' nasty. i mean, if you gotta fall in puke, wouldn't you rather it's your own? i would think it's the lesser of two evils. oh, and 'spine' and 'spaz' were great… but pukebutt was awesome.

sunday i awoke to a note from marty, apparently i slept through his departure (sadness). and i missed the brakes, though the description of them on the program sounded good. but i needed some rest. i had a small swig of jameson (hardcore, right? what happened to me? the bottle of sauza i bought remained unopened the entire weekend!) and pretty much chilled most of the afternoon. then the camp get.down folks came by and we all celebrated katmama and hern's birfday's with bach on mandolin and the most amazing rum cake i've ever tasted- and katmama went all-out this year- she used dark rum. holy crap.

so amazing. i'm drooling right now thinking about it. i want more. drooooooooooool. oh, and steve read everyone his diagnosis.

i pretty much had no plans to see music until moon boot lover hit the stage at the beer tent at 7pm. cuz you know what? and i'm gonna say it. years ago i came to the conclusion that i really do not like mmw. there. i've blogged it. i like ONE of their studio albums (maybe two?). everything else tries my patience. and live? forget it. if i have to sit through another 45 minute salad dressing jar drum solo from billy fucking martin, i'm going to stab myself in the ears. i won't do it anymore. and so, i refuse to even walk over a hill for it. i'm done with them. and i'm glad to see that i'm not the only one. i know there are people who love them, that's fine, but finally finally there were people who said, "wow, never again." like, you keep trying, keep convincing yourself that you're gonna like them, cuz you liked combustication, but that was it! it's over! done! kaput!

now, peter priiiiiiiiiiiiiince! moon boot??? these guys are fun and they rock! old skool albany rock n' roll shit and i can dig it. so i was happy too.< >>however, by this time in the weekend the beer tent was so full of dust it was impossible for me to breathe in there, so i gave up and stood outside and got DOWN out there, it was all good, y'all! he's a blast. good stuff!

ahhh, sunday night moe. another big difference from last year? by sunday night, you could still stand on the mountain. last year it was just a giant slop of mud & chairs were a must (in fact, a muddy wookie handprint still exists on my blue chair). the weather was awesome still, everyone was still happy, and everything was just fucking great. i dig 'tubing the river styx'-> 'pit', 'meat' is always crazy. good time had by all.

i'm getting kind of sick of how much time the mayoral crap takes up, there's gotta be a faster way to get into the music- even though this year things got interesting. i think hodge pulled off the upset of the century by winning, what the fuck kind of moe.down is it where he can win? by this time, the whole point of him running is so we can boo (where have you all been?)! so the fact that he won was kind of retarded. anyways, so hodge won, and even MORE shocking- he gets onstage, grabs the squirrel, and resigns!!! NOW THAT IS FUCKING AWESOME! THAT--- I WILL GET BEHIND! GO HODGE!

anyways, i know this might cause some concern among citizens of moe.ville, but rest assured you will be looked after. in 2003 after a valiant but unfortunately unsuccessful run for mayor of moe.ville in 2002 ( we did better than mcgovern, btw) i declared myself sheriff of moe.ville (the official declaration came in the form of a few thousand kickass blue stickers you might recall, "i can't believe how awesome i am: lynn's the sheriff: moe.ville 2003") if you check the fine print in the moe.ville town charter, there is probably some wording in there that has already (instantly) handed over power to me, lynnguppy: sheriff of moe.ville. so, fine citizens, there you have it, there is no need to worry. officially announced, right here in my myspace blog (how much more official can you get? even dennis kucinich has a myspace page), i'm in charge kiddies. stocks and a platform will be built in moe.ville town proper and thieves will be punished. also, i'd request that next year the fine people at ali kababs do not pre-mix the onions and peppers with the other ingredients as they did this year (they never did in the past), because onions and peppers give me really bad heartburn, so i didn't eat it this year. which was sad. and do you really want a sad sheriff? i'm the fucking sheriff!

moving on. 'blue jeans and pizza'… people keep creaming themselves over this song. i'm still not that into it. but then again, i never got into 'plane crash'. i think 'plane crash' jams hard and has moments. but never fell in love with it as a whole. blue jeans may have that same fate. it's a cute song. i wanna love it. it's not happening yet. do i feel guilt? pressure? yes. will that help it's cause? no. not at all. if it's gonna happen, it has to happen for realz, yo. 'rebubula', FUCK YEAH. can't go wrong, best sing along ever. and i gotta say it at least once- rob's fucking dreamy. BOOYA. 'akimbo'? HELLZ YEAH- FUCKING EVIL, MOTHERFUCKER! 'letter home', bring it on down, a sentimental classic, and definitely a great lead-in to the fireworks, which could only have been topped by rainbow singing a tribute to our great country.

overall, the music this year was awesome, the lineup was kickass, and again, i commend the band for once again bringing diversity to the festival that keeps my short attention span completely captivated. and the vibe from the crowd was also really positive and great this year too. granted i didn't take a sunday morning stroll through crack.ville aka wooksbehkistan, etc., but i fucking know what was going on there. regardless- IT WAS BROUGHT. FUCK YEAH.

monday, 9/3/07

breakdown. i demanded to be let into the main gate so i could get a coffee. the security guy wouldn't let me at first. i wouldn't take no for an answer. he told me that as soon as he was off duty he couldn't be held responsible for what happened (hint hint). i said when is that happening, i want a cup of coffee and a bag of ice. he said i dunno. the guy from the coffee co. came over and told him he was open and wanted to know where his customers were. security guy seemed confused and decided to just walk away. i brushed my teef, washed my face, used a clean giant bleachy counter to do so- and got my cup of coffee and bag of ice. HELLZ YEAH.

we will never go back to slim's diner. fuck them. every year we do it. this year was a fucking retarded mess. we waited over an hour for our food. we're usually pretty patient but this was absurd. fuck them. next year- i'm proposing the adirondack diner a little further down the road- does anyone have any other suggestions? i want some pannncakes.

i'm 8 for 8. thusly, i can fairly say, moe.down 8, turin, ny: 9.5 HUZZAHS! now--- what can we do to make it 10? let's subtract the strangefolk, the mmw, the guy with the jellyfish who stood right in front of me for the last minute of perry farrell's set… let's add: ween, cake, black crowes, beck, primus, elvis costello, dana monteith, peelander-z… and every show can use a little more old tp.

view the photo album

my bacon party challenge

i was trying to be productive (i had already wasted enough time writing a timmy tucker blog) when i got an IM... hern's having a bacon party. the original inspiration for this shindig came from an article gullo passed on the other night...

just go to hern's page for some pics of him and meat... him grilling up hot dogs wrapped in bacon... dripping maple syrup on said hot dogs wrapped in bacon... and so on and so forth... so... as i was saying... i was *trying* to write a script when a window popped up on my screen... (all IM names have been changed to protect the privacy of the participants). well, just read...

Hern: lynn, i have a challenge for you for the bacon party
me: uh oh.
Hern: peanut butter/chocolate and bacon cookies
me: oh god.
Hern: if anyone can figure out how to make that awesome it's got to be you
Hern: for serious.
me: i feel like an iron chef.
Hern: HA HA HA
Hern: this is your challenge!
me: the secret ingredient... is BACON.
me: and peanut butter and chocolate.
me: i am humbled at your confidence...
Hern: i have the utmost confidence
me: i don't know if i should accept this challenge?
Hern: i think you should
me: i may have to.
Hern: pukebutt would have wanted it that way
me: hahahaha
me: don't mess with pukebutt
Hern: that's right
me: you know what?
me: i think i can pull it off.
Hern: ha ha ha ha
me: i mean, bacon and chocolate... may not be so good.
me: but bacon and peanut butter... we know that's good.
Hern: dude, it's going to be awesome
me: hahahahhaa
me: the other night on 'the next iron chef' some guy made bacon ice cream
me: and put it on peanut butter waffles or something
me: and i was thinking, 'hey... not bad... not bad...'
Hern: yeah, that sounds awesome
me: you pair that up with a couple of eggs
me: how do you go wrong?
me: cookies, eh...
me: hm...
me: how long do i have to figure this out? more than one hour, right??
Hern: ha ha ha
Hern: yeah
Hern: you've got time

so, stay tuned folks... this could be a complete disaster... or THE BEST BATCH OF COOKIES I HAVE EVER MADE!!!!! damn... they'd have to be pretty damn good to say that... i have the distinct feeling my kitchen is going to smell kinda narrrrsty. hmm...

the debate rages: the greatest timmy tucker ever?

"timmy took a walk outside, lordy lordy lord, he fell..."

holy shit. i think we may have found our mystery man! i was downloading the saturday night moe.down 8 show on archive last night and saw this comment at the bottom of the page...


Date: September 1, 2007

Reviewer: mjgonephishin - 5 out of 5 stars - October 7, 2007
Subject: Saturday night was the show!

What an amazing day! From the turkey leg to the greatest Timmy Tucker
ever! Anybody else see that crazy, neon green stick-figure with
ponytails that was dancin'? That thing was such a good dancer. How
about that jellyfish that swam right over me. Good thing my buddy
warned me about the tenticles. Or that disco ball that came on twenty
feet away from me and sent me into a complete state of suspended
animation. It was like the whole hill turned into one giant room, but
So glad to finally have this so I can go back to that insane Tucker!
Thanks so much! Rob said the next day when he was signing my poster
that he didn't even remember it. How nuts is that...especially when
you're the one singing. Such a good night. Can't wait 'til next year!
Thanks again! Peace!


COULD IT BE??? is this the "BEST TIMMY TUCKER EVER!!! TONIGHT!!!!" guy (see my moe.down 8 "it's just a little dusty, it's still good, it's still good!" review)??? methinks yes! well, sir, while i don't agree with what you predicted that night or commented, i certainly defend your right to say it. but let the great timmy tucker debate begin, motherfucka! and you be the judge. mjgonephishin thinks this was the "BEST TIMMY TUCKER EVER--- TONIGHT!!!!" what do YOU think???


i was just listening to this one this morning, featuring Nate Wilson (Assembly of Dust / Swamp Donkey) on keyboards and think it's pretty kickass and up there

Date: August 31, 2003


and there's always this fucking doozy from roseland that'll blow you away!

Date: November 27, 2004


but that's just the tip of the iceberg… hell, what about the timmy rock opera at wetlands??? ROCK OP-ER-RA

Date: April 10, 2000


honestly… i can't remember or recall so many others… so… um… until the moment they occur to me you're SOL on advice for now… but i'm sure a shuffle will kick in as will some brain juice and undoubtedly another fucking kickass BEST TIMMY TUCKER EVER!!!! and i'll be sure to update this blog!

so, mr. mjgonephishin- don't go creaming your pants just yet, there's more to come! grab a turkey leg and sit tight, you fuckin' hippie!

Saturday, September 22, 2007

friday’s contestant on the match game...

friday's contestant on the match game was harlan from nebraska!!!


frickin' adorable.

shout out to verderame jams for the kickass seats and the illuminated keychain!!! WOOT!

Friday, September 7, 2007

shows i never reviewed... dana monteith, moe., al & the transamericans, beastie boys, & MORE!

yeah, so i got a busy gig (vh1's 40 greatest reality tv moments... TUNE IN) and was too busy to write reviews, and now i have to write a moe.down 8 review... but when i got home from moe.down and went to turn on my computer-- well, it didn't turn on... so i'm on a different computer right now while the apple store fixes my imac's power supply for free- which is really fucking cool of them cuz apparently the caps melted by themself or something- but i'm sans personal imac for 5-7 days... so the moe.down pics aren't being uploaded til then... and i realized that yeah... i didn't review shows for like 4 months... so... um... cliff's notes time! these will be sketchy recollections and i will do my best to highlight the highlights!

dana monteith at wicked willy's, 5/2/07... great! the crowd was loving dana! seriously, there was a good turnout of old mutants- but there was an even bigger turnout of just random bar peeps, and every single one of them had their chairs turned around and were rockin' out to dana and rick on the dobro. he didn't disappoint! though, i believe he did break a string within the first 5 seconds of the first song. FUCKIN ROCK N ROLL BABY!!!!

moe. at the highline ballroom, 5/3, 5/4, 5/5... brand new venue!!! highline is an awesome new (well, it was in may, so according to new york city standards it's "old" by now, but to me, still new and exciting) and great venue. great acoustics, chill security, you can pretty much see the stage from anywhere in the venue so it's a fun little setup. AND they serve magic hat (even though i can't drink it anymore). i really enjoyed the 3 nights there (i went 3 out of 4) and they really did welcome moe. with open arms.

all three moe. shows were AWESOME! and i gotta say one of the nights chuck really tore shit up, another night al really tore shit up... i can't remember which nights though. the band was really together and the venue was intimate enough that it really reflected back into the music. the first night fishbone showed up towards the end and did like 3 songs, which was pretty phat and really high energy- very fun. rob took out the stand up bass during one of the shows and wanked for a little too long which was a little much. but i do dig the stand up bass. just gotta know where you're going with it, that's all, and i'm not sure he did. all three nights we stood pretty close up on the al side which was fun, i am typically a chuck-sider, but some venues it's just easier to stand al-side. i likey both! one night a 40 year old fat man was hitting on me. that was really gross. like, really dude, know your limits. way to go on the confidence and all, but still. nuh-uh.

oh, also- sidenote, unbeknownst to me, i was running about a 101 fever by the 2nd night of these shows and apparently had a pretty horrible sinus infection (probably from my plane ride back from seattle the week before). having come directly from a couple of really difficult days at work doing an REO Speedwagon news package on a tight deadline with no footage (always fun!), i was already worn out and blaming stress and allergies for the disease... but since i had no voice- literally- *none*-- i ended up bringing a little pocket notebook and pen so i could communicate with my friends... but it was hard to heckle the band! i tried to on paper, but it didn't have the same effect. sadness! :) still - AWESOME FUCKING SHOWS!!!!

dana monteith at wicked willy's, 6/27/07... TRUCK STOP LOVE BALLADS!!! EFFIN' GREAT!!!! DANA RULEZ 1. rick on the dobro again, the crowd was once again diggin' it. eugene came and filmed which was really cool. good stuff!!! JERKY-> TEARJERKY-> JERKY... i'll bet you didn't think it could be done... but it CAN and it WAS... dana monteith, ladies and gentlemen... dana monteith!

ten feet tall at arlene's grocery, 7/14/07... an indie band from dc that did a northeast summer tour and made a stop through new york city to ROCK THE HIZZY! fuck yah! dude, ten feet tall totally did rock the hizzy! arlene's was rockin' dude, people were dancing and wanted more!!! i'd put up some pics and a video except my computer is at the shop (see first paragraph). they sound like a funkalicious and rocksteady blues traveler jambandy rock band and they do one hell of a rolling fucking rap medley! they were really cool!!! i highly recommend these guys! and their guitar player, one mr. josh "bach" himmelsbach carries the guitar playing eggbeating whisk torch in the tradition of the ominous seapods--- really--- what more can you ask for??? GO SEE TEN FEET TALL!!!

beastie boys at the hammerstein, 8/10/07...
SWEEEEEEEEEEEEET! i tried to get tickets to this show twice- the day they went on presale, and the day they went on sale to the public. both were sold out immediately. motherfuckers! then i thought, well, maybe that's not so bad... that's the day my 40 greatest show was set to air and we were in a pretty rough state (can you say "live satellite feed"?). so when i walked into my office the morning of 8/10 after being on my cell phone during my commute with the NOC broadcast coordinator to arrange buying satellite feed time because there was no way we would output and get a messenger out to the broadcast facility in time for quality control and air time, and ran right into mr. "blingy" niebling and he told me his buddy had a few extra tickets, one part of me said "FUCKING TAKE THE TICKETS LYNN YOU DESERVE THEM" and the other said, "YOU DON'T KNOW IF YOUR SHOW IS GOING TO AIR LYNN"... and the show was set to start at 8pm... and our show was set to air at 8pm... so for all intents and purposes, if our show didn't start feeding at the correct time, it wouldn't air before the beasties even hit the stage and by then it would be too late for me to do anything about it... so i IM'd a couple of people in between fielding phone calls and emails so we could get the show to air... and see who would be able to go at such a last minute... and afterwards realized a few more people probably would have been interested and then i felt bad cuz i forgot about them... but the land up was... OUR SHOW AIRED!!! **AND I GOT TO GO SEE THE BEASTIE BOYS!!!!!!!!!!**

suuuuure, the theme was "dress to impress" and i hadn't slept in 3 weeks or showered in 3 days... but whatthefuckever dude. ross fucking ran to 1515 and handed the tapes to the satellite feed peeps like a fucking superhero, we made it to air, and i got to go see the beasties. so HUZZAAAAAH! it was an all instrumental show- which means, they played their instruments, and they fucking rocked dude! mixmaster mike had some sort of family obligation that day, so he couldn't turn it out. i think they had the maestro on the turntables? but the show was insane! music was great! they jammed! the beasties are a fucking jam band when they have those instruments on- but not a fucking spacy one, and don't expect them to do anything other than be the beasties as a jamband, and you won't be disappointed, you know? which is what is great about them, they are and always will be the beastie boys.

the stage setup was really cool, they had some funky overhanging hi-def tv screen thing that looked like a miro mobile (didn't move), but the images were on there constantly moving around like it was a full screen (does that make sense? i don't care, these are a lot of reviews). and either side of the stage there were full screens to match the mobile. on stage they were definitely dressed to impress. i gotta say, i've been spoiled being in the mezz for so long. these were floor seats, and i'm a short girl. i could barely see what was going on onstage below the beastie heads. i saw a lot of jumping, but it was awesome. also, the crowd was an interesting one. a lot of meatheads past their prime, trying to re-live their prime doing the "bending over football player stance getting ready to beat the shit out of you" dance. getting way too drunk. apparently a couple of mosh pits started up, i didn't see this (see: short girl), but blingy did from the mezz. oh, and remember that pic that went around a while back? anatomy of a douchebag? the guy in the pink polo shirt, upturned collar, backwards tilted baseball hat, shorts, etc.? that guy was standing next to us hitting on some asian girl trying to get her to go back to his cousin's apartment for a party. good stuff. also, some drunk asshole bowled me over on the way out of the venue and i've *never* seen gullo so close to beating the shit out of someone- i actually had to separate the two of them after gullo screamed in his face, "YOU FUCKING KNOCKED OVER A LITTLE GIRL". that was fun. so i got to scream at a big drunk guy, "OKAY--- YOU ARE A DRUNK ASSHOLE AND YOU FUCKING KNOCKED ME OVER, GO FUCK YOURSELF-- THERE WILL BE NO FIGHTS--- THIS ENDS HERE... WALK AWAY FROM EACH OTHER. NOW." which actually worked. the guy gave gullo a high five. then he walked into someone else and started a fight. it was fun. then i bought a t shirt. oh, and then there was a dirty bomb scare on 34th street when we left. that was fun too!

BEASTIES--- PLENTY OF HUZZAHS!!!! last time i saw these guys was at msg with degrazio, michelle m., kochman, etc. at the "holy shit i fucking shot that" show--- they rocked my fucking face off (so did something else)--- but this was awesome too!!! can't wait to see them again!!! love these guys!!

al and the transamericans at the lion's den, 8/25/07... this was AWESOME! and a great warmup for moe.down!!! a bunch of covers, a bunch of originals, the place wasn't nearly as packed as i thought it would be! hern kept screaming, "KIRK, I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES!!!" which was great! we really had a great time! i dig it! oh, and our waitress was a nutter, which was cool i guess? the lion's den has been re-done since the last time i was there. new paint job, the stage looks different, they put a new curtain up, the bar looks different... the floor is new? that awful orange paint that used to sweat off the walls and stain your clothes when the a/c broke is gone! high-class shit, y'all! CEG did a number on that place. ha! anyways, it was a great time, and i'm sure i'd have more to say about it, except, no... i really don't. it was fun, and i'll leave it at that--- i'll go see them more and more... and i did at moe.down. and you'll read my extensive moe.down review in a week or so when my computer is back. so... until then...


Wednesday, May 23, 2007

out of order reviews... and 5/19/07 secret machines, highline ballroom, nyc

okay, totally out of order reviews...

shows that will not be reviewed in full:

10/20/06, moe. starland ballroom, sayreville, nj: meh. okay. i think i need al in the equation, otherwise it's just an extended guest jam. don't get me wrong, i can appreciate that they still went out and did this with al's injury and all, but i wasn't feeling it. also, maybe i wasn't drunk enough, and i witnessed a full on actual brawl in the parking lot on my walk into the venue, the security guards were assholes, and i really wasn't in the mood. just meh. it would not be fair to give huzzahs at such a late date. in an odd twist of fate, i didn't go the 2nd night when apparently one of my favorite people in the world, mr. lo faber showed up... oh well. the 1 fucking moe. show i skip in like 12 fucking years and there ya go.

12/30/06, moe. irving plaza, nyc: great show, small, intimate, old school, great energy, rock n' roll, download the show!!! i was able to swap poster #212 for poster #211 at the merch table with some guy that had bought it right before me. he thought i was nuts but, "I MUST HAVE THAT POSTER!!!" :) 8.5-9 HUZZAHS! what a great show!!!

and NOW... 5/19/07, the secret machines, the highline ballroom, nyc.

a brand new venue (i can get into that in my next review for moe., since that was my first time there) which i really dig, the highline ballroom is frickin' nice- a great new venue that will hopefully do really well and make an impact in the nyc rock scene. with the steady decline of so many great clubs in the past decade, you know we need it!

i was really looking forward to this show. i saw the secret machines for the first time in the fall (see blog for previous review) at irving plaza and they rocked my fucking balls (proverbial) off! they played "in the round" and i was thoroughly impressed. i expected nothing less than this from them. BOY WAS I DISAPPOINTED!

they played an hour long set on the stage at the highline. i don't know if they've abandoned the "in the round" format, but the chemistry wasn't there at ALL. in addition, they have either added a 4th band member or someone was sitting in, and it was just NOT working out. the lead singer/bass player was trying to lead him and give this new guitar player dude instruction and he was just not getting it. he wasn't following along and seemed completely oblivious and continued to do his own fucking thing. i don't know who's brilliant idea it was to add a 4th member, but when a band is doing great as a trio for so long, and their power comes from the energy that they have bouncing off each other, why on earth would you fuck with that?

also, the songs they chose to play for the entire set were all new really long mellow spacey jams. there were maybe 1 or two moments when you thought they'd bust out into a rockin' beat or two (why would you waste a drummer who pounds the skins like josh garza?), but they DIDN'T. that's the point, they fucking didn't. the crowd wasn't into it at all- as such, they weren't feeding off of said nonexistent energy. and you've got a guitar player on the other side of the stage standing there who might as well have been wearing a fucking helmet.

the set ended and it was like, is that it? should i be happy that's it? it could be worse- they could have done that for LONGER and perhaps i would have never paid to see them again- a possible permanent trauma. they came back for an encore after a few minutes and did a couple of old songs which were fairly rocking, which was COOL, except that they did them pretty half-assedly, and the crowd tried to get into them except that it's the fucking ENCORE and it's a little too late at that point boys... you've lost everyone by now. so they walk off the stage, no one knows what's going on, the pa system isn't playing music, the house lights aren't going on, are they coming back to play more? who knows? and i do NOT blame the venue at all, because after being there for 3 previous shows, they ran that place like a tight ship- i place the blame on the band because they didn't seem to know their ass from their elbow when it came to playing a decent show that night. totally fucking lame.

did i mention david bowie was up in the balcony watching? he "curated" the night's festivities, so if i were the secret machines, not only would i be ashamed that i played a shitty show for my fans, but i'd be embarassed i played such a shitty show in front of the one and only legendary mr. DAVID BOWIE.

secret machines, 5/19/07 highline ballroom, nyc: 2.5 HUZZAHS. 1 HUZZAH is for kochman and the .5 is for the bathroom attendant.

shows TBR (to be reviewed): dana monteith at wicked willy's, 5/2/07, moe. at the highline ballroom, 5/3, 5/4, 5/5...