dear robinson,
why are you single-handedly driving team GAMERA into the ground? never mind the yankees, you are causing some serious damage to MY baseball team. while i realize (and numbers strongly indicate) you never have very productive aprils (i do not recall last april being this painful), i encourage you to recognize your habit of: swinging at the first pitch, messing with your timing, not trusting your natural instincts, and pretty much being completely impatient and utterly incompetent at the plate which most certainly carries over into your field-work. why did you try and steal 2b today??? you're messed in the head! goddamnit, does girardi have to break your fucking thumbs for you to get this? your timing is off, your head is in your ass, and you are an atrocious 15/95 on the season. there is no reason NOT send you to triple A and put gonzalez at 2b. except that ONE of these days you'll finally break out of your shithole. but WHEN, dear robinson, WHEN??? late may/june??? it seems now that _i_ must practice some patience.
so, for your own sake, for the yankees sake, and most importantly- for team GAMERA's sake- TURN IT THE FUCK ON!
for realz.
sincerely,
lynn (mgr. team GAMERA)
-ps- GAMERA is MIGHTY!
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The entire Yankee offense stinks on ice this April. I think that a closed-door thumb-breaking is definitely in order.
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