OMG, with the fast turnaround! The fuck? Jane's Addiction played an intimate show to a Sold Out Wellmont Theatre in Jersey on Super Tuesday, and if I can describe it in one word, it would be: Badass. Then why is this review so long? Fuck you, keep reading.
The opening band was a Hard Rock duo from Belgium. Black Box Revelation were very loud. There were some interesting ideas scattered in there, somewhere. Maybe. I took a strategic pee-break in the middle of their set and missed their hit single. More importantly, and where I'm going with this is: does the NJ Department of Labor know that the bathroom attendants in the Wellmont Theatre are, according the signs in the bathroom, "working for tips"? Is this legal? Or just a lie? Shouldn't they be earning an hourly rate + tips? I feel guilted into paying $1 every time I pee. Phooey.
JANE'S ADDICTION. Badass. How detailed do you need me to get? Badass Motherfucking Rock Show. That's how they roll. Perry Farrell is one of the best Frontmen alive, and part of the reason is just that: the man is still alive. All that shit he put in himself-- and it didn't kill him. That alone gives him some Major Frontman Cred. Now, put aside surviving all that legendary drug abuse. Perry Farrell is onstage next to someone, like, I don't know-- say, the swarthy, shirtless, tattooed, and leather pants clad, Citi Bank Commercial starring, Dave Navarro, who spends the entire night striking Rock God Poses, while shredding the fuck out of sick guitar solo after sick guitar solo, making every one of them look seemingly effortless, with each change in the light show reflecting off of his nipple rings-- and Perry Farrell's natural stage presence still makes him the sexiest guy up there. He's just that good. Scrawny Magical Rockstar Frontman. Perry Farrell is the 90's Mick Jagger.
Highlights: all the awesome shit I liked.
The crowd was fun. Some people were tall and in my way. Mostly, people were enjoying themselves and on fairly good behavior. There was a lot of fist pumping and excitement from males approximately 28-46 years of age. There were some kids (girls, approximately 7-10 years of age) in the VIP section who looked utterly confused when Farrell explained that he liked jumping into the crowd because women grab his cock and that feels awesome. Either they haven't picked up on the OOZING SEX ROCKSTAR FRONTMAN vibe from him yet and found it slightly questionable, or they don't know what the word "cock" means. Well, maybe now they do. It was a learning experience, no doubt. Did I mention the S&M Burlesque theme to the show? It's Jane's Addiction, so the dancing/whipping/tied up chicks are pretty much a given. The dude who hung a baby doll from a noose, then ripped apart another, and tossed it's appendages into the audience was a nice touch. Oh, to be a fly-on-the-wall at that Show & Tell presentation next Monday.
There's a reason these guys are still around and still kicking this much ass. They are BADASS MOTHERFUCKING ROCKSTARS. It was very cool seeing them in such a small venue and there was a similar sentiment and excitement amongst the crowd. It was a totally badass show, but I did miss all the fantastic Super Tuesday Coverage, which I'm sure was entertaining in an entirely different way. I would like to bring Rick Santorum to a Jane's Addiction show. Eventually I would get to tell him that Perry Farrell is a Jew. Jane's Addiction, 3/6/12, Wellmont Theatre, Montclair, NJ: 9 HUZZAHS!!!
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