most of you know who johan santana is, for those of you who don't- he's the best pitcher in baseball. a top draft pick in any fantasy league let alone real-actual baseball.
hern (mgr The Upside Downers) had him last year and kept him. so i (mgr GAMERA) tried to make him a deal:
johan santana for casey kotchman and 5 lbs of freshly sliced bacon.
he declined: santana is not even hurt, for christs sake!
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i tried to sweeten the deal with a 2nd trade offer:
okay hern (mgr The Upside Downers),
you wanna play hardball, that's fine.
i'll tell you what.
johan santana for casey kotchman and johan santana's weight in freshly sliced bacon. so it'd be just like you were keeping johan santana, but in bacon- bacon johan santana. and bacon makes everything better, hern. if you don't believe that, you support the terrorists. why do you hate our troops, hern?
sincerely,
lynn (mgr GAMERA)
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that's a great fucking deal- never mind the talented casey kotchman, according to baseballreference.com johan's like 6' and 195 lbs. that's nearly 200 pounds of bacon! and i'll bet if you could create the proper armature and get a fryer large enough, you could actually cook it into the form of johan santana. a BACON JOHAN SANTANA. do you know how much that would be worth??
still awaiting reply. i have a good feeling about this...
UPDATE: trade REJECTED. shocking! "you and your filthy trade offers." i think that means it almost worked!!! damn. so close to the bacon johan santana i'll bet he could smell it.
UPDATE #2: GAMERA IS MIGHTY!
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