Tuesday, September 23, 2008

the origins of sarah palin...

A question has been eating away at me for months now- I knew that John McCain sold his soul to the devil all those years ago in a vietnamese P.O.W. camp, vowing revenge on his captors, that was fairly obvious. What I couldn't figure out was where the hell the devil was hanging out these days?

After receiving this delightful picture courtesy of Gullo over at SofaJockey.com it hit me like a cupcake to the face.

Just LOOK at her all decked out in red! All this talk about "transparency" and she refuses to allow her own press corps to cover her- it's because she doesn't want anyone to see her for what she really is! Sarah Palin is the fucking devil!

And the only way to destroy the devil is to pummel her with the purest of weapons: vanilla/vanilla cupcakes. SO, throw them at will, good people of Earth! Watch as her skin bubbles and smokes. Listen as she shrieks with the pain of double vanilla cupcakey doom!

Then and only then can we rest easy, for the devil will either die, develop diabetes (eventually), or retreat to Alaska, where "coincidentally"- the temperature has been steadily rising ever since Sarah Palin was appointed to public office*. However, if John McCain is elected President, say goodbye the Hand-Puppet, cuz the Devil's a heartbeat away from running the United States (you thought W was bad?).


*fact-check that shit, it's all true.

No comments: