Saturday, September 6, 2008

gestation of a foodbaby... pt.5

(weeks 22 thru 28)

some would say i've been "slacking" others might use the term "working", either way i've fallen way behind on the bloggy stuff. since my next gig starts in another week or two, i am determined to catch up. currently, i owe: 7 foodbaby posts, 3 music reviews, and have started a real "think-piece" on rvp nominee sarah "nanny 911" palin. so, in the words of the great dana monteith, "let's get down to it."

once again here is your DISCLAIMER: if you're just tuning in now, these are more entries in a series entitled, "gestation of a foodbaby" which follows the development of a fetus that is temporarily living in my friend's body (NOT MINE). please refer to the original entry for the full story.

22 weeks / spaghetti squash
while i much prefer the hearty acorn squash, i have enjoyed many a spaghetti squash in my day. generally, you can't go wrong with a roasted squash on a cold autumn night. what's great about most squashes is that their preparation doesn't really vary too much. halve the thing, throw a tablespoon (or more) of organic butter, a scoop of light brown sugar, and a drizzle of maple syrup into the hollowed cavity- throw it in the oven and roast that baby (pun intended) for about an hour at 425'. magnifico!

the real difference spaghetti squash has over other squashes is that its insides don't mush up into a paste- it separates out into thin "spaghetti"-like strands that you can twirl on a fork and shovel into your mouth (be careful not to burn yourself). spaghetti squash isn't as sweet as acorn squash and so there are plenty of recipes out there to add some variety to your squash meal.

23 weeks / mango
while i enjoy fresh mangos, i'm not a fan of mango-flavored things, like candy or sorbets or that kind of stuff. is that strange? NO!

in most latin neighborhoods in nyc you can find the beautiful and tempting street "mango-on-a-stick" sold at sidewalk stands. typically you can smell the source of these fanciful summertime treats ("nature's candy" if you will) well before you see them. follow your nose (if you can get past the august-y smell of hot urine and mcdonalds)!

24 weeks / ear of corn
fresh corn is yummy. i like grilling mine still in the husk on the bbq- a couple of minutes on each side and it's fucking perfect!

one of my favorite breakfast treats has become the amy's bread corn muffin. it's more like a slightly sweet cornbread than a typical corn muffin, with the texture of the cornmeal and fresh kernels baked right into each little paper cup. holy fuck they're good.

25 weeks / a rutabaga
rutabaga isn't usually one of those vegetables you use to compare the size of things against ("it's about the size of... a rutabaga?"), which makes this fetal growth week laughable. seriously, though... when was the last time you had rutabaga? i can't recall my last encounter either.

what i DO remember is the swedish chef used to have a breakfast cereal called "croonchy stars", they were slightly cinnamon-y, star shaped puffy croonchy goodness (not gross like cinnamon toast crunch). i loved those things. anyways, on the actual box of cereal (i can't find a pic, sorry) were fun games: one of which was to count how many times the word "rutabaga" appeared on the box (and that one didn't count). i vaguely remember on the ingredients list the reassuring words every child wants to read about their beloved breakfast cereal: absolutely no rutabagas.

26 weeks / english hothouse cucumber
an english hothouse cucumber? you know what? no. fuck you and your hothouse cucumbers, england. here in america we grow our own, OUTDOORS, and they don't come shrink wrapped in plastic with smug looks on their faces (also, they have flavor). here's a plain old wonderful garden cuke from this summer, consider this artistic freedom.

27 weeks / cauliflower
omg i fucking love cauliflower. i could eat whole freakin' heads of the damn stuff. it's good. it's great. it's cauliflower!

it's amazing for veggie dip appetizers but it's even better as aloo gobi (gobhi?)- one of mine (and the foodbaby mama's) favorite indian dishes! it's a spiced mixture of cauliflower, potatoes, and if you're lucky, green peas. lots of spices, layers of flavors, stewtastical, hours of flavor. YUM. (i'll bet the babymama is reading this right now getting upset because she is now craving aloo gobhi- SUCKA!).

28 weeks / napa cabbage
i don't really consider cabbage a part of my everyday diet, but i DO like purple (red) cabbage (and put it in my salads) more than regular green cabbage (which i can enjoy in cole slaw). i wasn't sure if i'd ever had napa cabbage, but i looked it up and other names for it are 'chinese cabbage' and 'bok choy'. bok choy is yummy when prepared correctly. though i usually end up leaving the majority of it over in favor of other "real" vegetables (if i've offended you bok choy fans- good). one of the awful little tidbits of knowledge i picked up from researching at vh1 was cabbage-related and that is: sarah michelle gellar occasionally subscribes to the cabbage soup diet- which is she boils cabbage and water (she probably pays someone to do this for her), and subsides on that for long periods of time in order to lose weight and/or stay thin. cabbage soup for long stretches of time will leave your body malnourished and thusly, you'd probably be in a pretty bad mood- couple that with the fact that you stink like cabbage and can't stop offending the people around you with your bodily functions... i'll bet sarah michelle gellar's a real peach to be around.

i would like to again mention my friend (the foodbabymama) enjoys these foodbaby posts immensely, even as dark as some of them have gotten- but when she started forwarding me actual recipes to cook with the placenta- it was my turn to get pretty grossed out. this is no joke- people eat that shit.
so while a placenta lasagna or bolognese sauce might sound gross to any "normal" human being, perhaps this week two worlds collide as i recommend combining placenta and napa cabbage to create some good ol' fashioned placenta stuffed 28 week old fetus cabbage. who needs corned beef? in the words of the rabid rachel ray, "EAT THE WEAK!"

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