Tuesday, July 1, 2008

off to the glue factory with you, eric byrnes... the glue factory.

monday night led to an unfortunate turn of events for arizona diamondback's OF eric byrnes. back after approximately one month on the DL with a tear in each of his hamstrings (he was finally forced onto the DL after 2 months of struggling and "toughing it out"), byrnes finally made it all the way to 2B. perhaps his horrible mustache was working!

fantasy managers everywhere heaved a sigh of relief. that is, until he tried to steal 3B- after a quick sprint he came up lame and did a flying belly-flop to the ground like some sort of spectacular paraplegic ballerina. on-field trainers quickly diagnosed the condition as grave and did the only thing they could do in that situation... they put him down. right there at 3B, in front of thousands in the stadium and millions watching on tv.


it's hard to say if it was the right move, but at least it was done in a humane way. like barbaro, he's in a better place now. a place where it's 2007 all the time and he can run free in the lavender meadows with kevin brown, jeremy bonderman, nomar garciaparra, and all the rest of the injured ballplayers who expired before their time.

eric byrnes, a haiku

launching then flying
right and left both hammies pop
to pasture with you

goodbye, eric byrnes. R.I.P. 1976-2008

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