Sunday, November 9, 2008

All Hail President Barack Hussein Obama

Bow down, fuckers!

Ladies and Gentlemen... It's finally over. The road getting here was stressful, sleep deprived, adrenaline boosting, rage building, drug addled, and altogether balls-out. However, it's time for one President Obama to kick this country's ass into gear.

Just an aside- something that has been bothering me is all this "only in America" talk, because does ANYONE else remember South Africa? Not just a black man--- a black former political prisoner took the reigns over there, so- lest we forget, please recall that one*.

But I digress! PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA. I get chills**, do you? Its pretty awesome. What did y'all do on election night '08? I couldn't contain myself and it being such a stressful 8 years leading up to this, I needed to go out and blow off some steam. STEAM. A few of my friends felt the same way and I had a glorious plan. First we would down some drinkies. Craig went with the very appropriate El Presidente- the beer choice of voters everywhere.

From Election Night '08

Then, the most important part of said plan, we headed over to the one place someone can always turn to for fun on a Tuesday night and that is, SWEET, at the Slipper Room, with your pantstacular host Seth Herzog.

From Election Night '08

It was a fun election themed (following the returns)/Seth's bday show, featuring Kristen Schaal, John Mulaney, James Adomian, and Nick Turner- who gave us a fly on the wall perspective of what the DMX interview with XXL magazine (re: who is Barack Obama) was like, which featured these doozies:
Are you following the presidential race?
Not at all.

You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
His name is Barack?!

Barack Obama, yeah.

What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
Barack Obama?

What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
I ain’t really paying much attention.

I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.

Anyways it was eye-opening. Seth's mom, always entertaining, read us an open letter she wrote to Sarah Palin... John McCain stopped by, he sounded pretty agitated.

From Election Night '08

and then Barack Obama won the 2008 Presidential Election. And we partied.

From Election Night '08

A bunch of us flooded across the street to Epsteins to watch the speeches on the big screen over the bar- they had opened up the window/doors and a crowd gathered round the sidewalk too. It was all very awesome.

From Election Night '08

Oh and then there was a motorcycle on fire which can only be attributed to civil unrest... but the FDNY and po'po' came and put that shit out. Actually it was funny cuz all us onlookers were standing there taking pictures and the first time it dawned on me that maybe someone should put it out was when the FDNY came and sprayed it down with some extinguishers. oh yeah... I guess we could have put it out... It's hard to extinguish massive fires while simultaneously taking pictures.

From Election Night '08

Revelers filled the streets.

From Election Night '08

It was pretty awe inspiring, and smiles all around.

From Election Night '08

I for one welcome our new leader and wish our new President-Elect and the rest of us lots of luck. Additionally, the names of those who voted for McCain/Palin should be printed in local papers around the country so they can be all be put into stocks in the town square and publicly administered a soup-can-to-the-nuts.

Oh and when I got home at 1:30am, my Obama t shirt in it's mailing envelope sat on the table waiting to be opened.

Good timing, douchebags. Good timing.


* did that sound racist? that wasn't supposed to sound racist. it was supposed to sound funny.
** good chills

1 comment:

Super-Extra said...

Here's to Presidente, the official beer of Election Day and drinking out of fruity wine glasses. All classy and shit.